everlong

my poor brain

My eyes slowly fluttered open. I lazily felt around the bed for Dave, but I didn't feel him. I frowned, and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I picked up his bad brains shirt from the floor, and while doing so, I caught a glimpse of my alarm clock, which read 6:05.

I stood up, my legs stiff as I walked into the living room. My eyebrows raised at the smell of coffee. "Dave?" I called, walking into the kitchen.

He was standing at the counter, his hair a tangly mess. He was wearing only his boxers. His hands were wrapped around a mug of coffee, another mug on the counter.

"Here." He said, smiling sheepishly, pushing the coffee my way. "Thank you." I said, smiling back at him. "Did you sleep good?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow. "Better than I have in a long time." He answered, sighing happily.

"Me too." I whispered, feeling happy for once.

Dave's P.O.V
She looked so cute in my shirt. My heart melted once she came into the kitchen. When I said I got the best sleep I had in a long while, I meant it. Having her by my side made it easier to dream and feel content.

It reminded me of when we were together, how I got to wake up to her beautiful face every single morning.

I wish things could still be that way.

We talked about the tour as we drank coffee. Julia admitted that she didn't feel very happy on the tour, and that she'd rather just go home.

"Why don't you just leave if you aren't happy?" I asked, frowning. "I said I'd help take care of Frances." She replied, sighing heavily. "They have our help, though. Its not like you have an obligation."

I took both of our mugs, and put them in her sink. "Thanks." She mumbled, resting her chin on her hand.

"No problem."

"So, are we gonna talk about last night?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. I blushed, imagining last nights events. "Yeah, good idea." I chuckled.

"It was a one time thing, right?" She asked, her voice faltering. "Yeah.." I whispered, my smile fading.

A fragile silence fell over the room like a blanket. It could be broken easily, with the slightest sound.

"You should get going. Rosie will get suspicious. Probably already is." She said with a heavy sigh. My heart sank.

"Yeah." I said, nodding. "I just need to get dressed." I started to walk off towards her bedroom, only to be stopped by a gasp.

"Your shirt! Im sorry." She muttered, rolling her eyes. "No, keep it. I've got my hoodie." I argued, putting on a tiny half smile. "Are you sure?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Very."

I hadn't even had the chance to look in her room. Last night, we were a bit..occupied, and this morning, all I wanted was some coffee and an Advil.

Her room was simple. Her desk was beside the door. It was white, and was scattered with various objects. Her computer was on it, and a few magazines too. It had a peach colored chair pulled up in front of it.

Her bed frame was metal. She had a few bags hanging off of it. The cover on her mattress was beige, accompanied by matching pillows. There was a large window stretching across her wall. It offered a picturesque view of LA.

She didn't have anything personal looking on display. No pictures of people, or memories from a certain occasion. Nothing.

My heart sank. When we lived together, the apartment was overflowed with personal mementos of hers. Pictures with the small group she had, which was me, Kurt, Krist, Courtney, and shelli. She cherished every single photo, letter, whatever it was, it left a mark on her. She may have a few plants around the apartment now, but what meaning does that have?

I did something rather..invasive.

I cringed as I stood in front of her desk, preparing myself to pull the top drawer open. One voice was telling me to respect her boundaries, but the other was egging me on to dig through her drawer.

I gave in to that ultimately negative voice.

My hand was trembling as I pulled it open. What I was met by, triggered an abundance of memories.

There were stacks and stacks of pictures in the wide drawer, and I recognized all of them.

The first one that caught my eye was one from the first Christmas we ever spent together. We were sitting on that tattered sofa we had in our apartment, kissing. We looked so in love. Its strange. That feels like it was a lifetime ago, but it's only been a few years.

I put that one down and picked up the next picture. It was Kurt and Julia. She was on his back, and he was hunched over as he held her. There were big, toothy grins on both of their faces.

The next one was of me, only me. I was sleeping soundly in our bed, the covers covering my lower half, but not my chest. I giggled and rolled my eyes. Creep.

I sighed, feeling my eyes flood with tears. I took a deep breath and closed the door as they fell down my face.

Why didn't I stay with her?

Julia's P.O.V
Dave emerged from my room, dawning the oversized Zeppelin hoodie he had worn here. His eyes looked a tad glossy and red. "Have you been crying?" I frowned, hurrying over to him to get a better look.

"No, just allergies." He answered, shrugging. I raised an eyebrow, still suspicious, but I didnt press the topic any further. "Alright, you better take off. Drive safe, ok?" I whispered, biting down on my bottom lip, biting back the tears that desperately wanted to dip down onto my cheekbones. "Yeah. Thank you." He replied, turning away, and heading towards the door.

As he turned the knob, I called out to him. I turned around, bewildered by my sudden mood swing. I scurried over to him, so we were face to face. My stomach churned as I whispered a barely audible, "I love you."

He smiled sadly, and pulled me into his embrace. As I he rubbed soothing circles into my back, the tears fell, and kept coming like a stream. "I love you too, Julia." He muttered, pulling away and taking my face in his hands.

"Don't cry, doll. Just know that I love you." He repeated, bending down and kissing me softly. I sniffled and nodded, barely holding myself together as I watched him walk out of my apartment.