everlong

feisty thang

November 17th, 1993
"Can Rosie do photography for MTV unplugged?" I suggested to the band, looking at Kurt. We had just finished rehearsal for Unplugged. We were now in back in our hotel room.

His eyes darted up to meet mine. He continued to rock Frances. "I don't know, Dave. I wanted Jules to do it." He muttered. Of course.

I sighed and rubbed my face. "Please just let Rosie do it." I said, exasperated. He stared at me with so much aggravation that I squirmed. He suddenly stood up, and went out to the balcony where Courtney was. He set Frances in her lap, then came back. "Rosie can come take some pictures for the media, but Julia is gonna take the pictures for the cover. Got it?" He said. "Fine." I scoffed.

Why can't he just give it to Rosie? Julia is so much further in her career. She doesn't even have to work for the opportunities she gets. Rosie works her ass off, and gets nothing in return.

Fuck them.

November 18th, MTV unplugged.
"Kurt, they're gonna love you guys!" I enthused to him as he paced in the hallway. He shook his head, laughing. "No, they won't. This is completely out of our territory. We don't ever fucking do acoustic!" He said loudly, running his large hands through his hair.

I cringed and put my hands on his shoulders. "Quiet down and stop being a coward!" I whispered harshly, trying to knock some sense into him. He rolled his bright blue eyes.

"Now, lets go to the lounge. Its where Courtney and Frances are." I said, taking his hand. He took a deep breath. His hand was so shaky. I rubbed it to try and calm him down.

As we walked into the lounge, eyes shot our way. Everyone could sense how petrified Kurt was. Hell, you could sense it from a mile away.

"Hey." Courtney said, standing up and kissing Kurt. He smiled faintly. "Hi." His voice sounded tired and raspy. "You look pretty nervous." She commented, running her fingers through his hair. He nodded.

"Don't be. They're gonna adore you. Julia, can you look after Frances for now?" She asked me sweetly. "Of course." I looked at Frances, grinning. She cooed. I scooped her up into my arms, rocking her gently.

After I looked after the daughter of rock royalty, I felt 2 pairs of eyes on me. I glanced over, surprised by the hateful looks they were giving me.

The shameful stares were completely unsolicited. "What?" I barked, furrowing my eyebrows. I wasn't taking shit from a cheating sleaze and his sloppy seconds. They didn't say anything. I sat Frances down, then went over to the couch they were huddled on. "What is it?" I hissed.

I heard Dave swallow nervously, but Rosie stood up, now in my face. "You don't work for any of this. Kurt hands you all your opportunities. He says jump, you jump. You don't have a fucking work ethic! You were nothing until you started dating Dave, and you couldn't even keep him!"

I could hear whispers and feel burning gazes as she went off on me. I kept repeating that everything she spat at me was utter nonsense, but that last part? It brought tears of hurt and truth to my eyes.

I thought hard, though.

I coldly laughed, crossing my arms. "You stupid little girl. I've worked my fucking ass off for this shit. I strive everyday and have a work ethic. I made my way to the top alone. It wasn't until Dave left me that I started my position at Kerrang. And that part about Dave leaving?" I hissed, inching closer to her face.

"I could get him back, anytime." I whispered, raising my hand, and planting a hard slap on her face.

She gasped, bringing her hand to the red spot on her cheek. "What the hell!" Dave spat at me, pushing me back.

He put his hands on me.

It wasn't him feeling my chest, it wasn't him caressing my face or his strong hands wandering to the jewel in between my legs.

He wanted to hurt me.

I caught myself, glaring at him as tears filled my eyes. Shock came across his face. Before i could say a word, Kurt was already in his face.

"Don't lay a god damn finger on her." He growled lowly, holding Dave by his shirt. He still looked stunned. "Kurt, its not worth it. Leave it." I said, my voice shaky as I put my arms on his shoulders. He slowly turned to me.

"I'm sorry." He muttered.

"Me too, Kurt. Me too."