everlong

ironic

March 3rd, 1994
"Just drink the tea, Kurt," Julia sighed, pushing the steaming tea cup closer to him. "Why? It won't even help.." He muttered, his damaged voice strained and tired. "Yes, it will. Drink up." She insisted, narrowing her eyes at him.

"C'mon man, she's right." Krist piped up, nudging his arm lightly. He muttered something unintelligible, before finally cooperating and drinking a sip of the tea.

"See? Don't you feel better?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn't answer verbally, but simply nodded his head. He had damaged his vocals, and hadn't recovered. Kurt argued with management relentlessly to get the next few tour dates cancelled.

Courtney had gone home to LA, with Frances. She didn't want to be on the road, she was just focusing on the production of Live Through This.

Kurt and Julia had been discussing the possibility of revealing their ongoing relationship to their friends, but they were both petrified. Petrified of the alienation and awkward tension that could arise once people knew the truth. But at the same time, they wanted to take more steps forward in their relationship.

Kurts converse rested against Julia's leg underneath the table, lovingly brushing against her ankle. She blushed, and smiled slightly.

They were sitting at a circular wooden table, placed in the middle of the hotel lobby. The day was dying down, and the dark was fast approaching. People lingered around the grand hotel lobby, some checking in, and some heading for the bar.

Kurt slowly drank his tea, while everyone else chatted. Dave to Rosie, and Krist to Shelli. Julia simply observed Kurt, her blue eyes fixed on his face. Her heart sank as she studied his exhausted features.

His eyes were bloodshot and droopy, black circles underneath them. His face was gaunt and unshaven. He looked like he was on the verge of snapping. But she still found him to be a beautiful creature. She still loved him the same.

He caught her stare, and hid his growing smirk behind the tea cup. He couldn't fight off the rose tone that colored his face.

Dave was starting at someone too. Not Rosie, or Kurt.

He was looking at Julia.

He felt his heart ache with every lingering look she gave to Kurt, every time she even spoke to him.

He knew it was selfish of him to feel so jealous and possesive of her. After all, he's the one who made the life changing decision to betray her, but he couldn't control his territorial instincts over her.

"Shelli and I are going back to the hotel room." Krist announced, linking arms with her. "Dave, let's go back up." Rosie muttered, gently tugging his hand. He simply nodded.

"We'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye." Julia said, smiling slightly. Krist waved, and headed towards the elevator with shelli, Dave and Rosie following behind them. He forced his eyes to stare at the toes of his converse, and not at Julia.

Only her and Kurt were left. He immediately took her hand, relieved to be alone with her. A warm feeling erupted all over her body. She smiled, and brought his hand to her lips, kissing it softly. "I'm sorry about your voice." She whispered, frowning.

"I'm just glad you're here." He said, his voice crackly. He finished his tea slowly, and silently, while affectionately stroking his thumb across Julia's knuckles.

The silence was comfortable, and a relief almost.

they were finally alone, and free of the burden of other people.

Well, almost, if you count the dozens of strangers coming in and out of the hotel. "Wanna go back to our room? Its a little more private." She suggested, raising an eyebrow. Kurt simply nodded, and stood up, his hand still linked with Julia's.

They walked to the elevators, and waited for it to arrive. It soon arrives, and opens with a sharp ding! They step inside, and press the circular button with the number three.

Julia turned to Kurt, and perches her chin on his shoulder. His soft blonde hair tickled her cheek gently. She basked in his scent of cigarettes and faint cologne. Her affection towards him had been more frequent. Her every thought was about him.

She needed more.

The absence of affection while around others made the two feel deprived, but once they were together again, they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

Kurts hand slid around her waist. He shut his eyes, and kissed her forehead gently. He wanted to stay in that position for an eternity, but unfortunately, the elevator doors slid open. He sighed, and slid away from her, exiting the elevator. She followed behind him.

They made their way down the hallway, feet pressing against the red carpet. Their soles made imprints into the fuzzy floor. Kurt retrieved the room key from his back pocket, and let Julia and himself inside.

She slid off her jacket, and lazily tossed it onto the bed, flopping down right onto the puffy white comforter. He followed her actions. Once he was lying down next to her, she immediatly turned over to face him.

Their eyes met, and relief, and a sense of affection washed over Kurt. He still didn't understand how he got so lucky, lucky enough to have the heart of Julia. She felt the same way, but more vulnerable, and scared.

She was scared to lose him.

"I worry about you, Kurt." She said, her eyes wandering down to his arms, which were punctured with tiny holes from the syringes. He winced, a heavy feeling of shame on his chest, suffocating him. "Jules..." He breathed, not sure of what else to say.

"I'm not looking for an argument. I just want you to know..." She paused, and swallowed, then blinked back the wet coat of tears that glossed her eyes. "I care about how you feel, and that I want you to be ok." She said, her voice tight.

Kurt simply placed his hand on her cheek.

"You don't need to worry about me, Julia. I'll be ok."