everlong

i hate myself and i want to die

"I'm so ready to go home," Kurt said, sighing. "Same here." Krist agreed, nodding. "I don't ever wanna come back here." Julia whispered sadly.

She was nestled into kurts side, his arm draped across his girl's hip. His heart sank at her sullen words. A sickening twinge of guilt hit him like a bat.

He knew he was causing her pain, but he couldn't bear the pain of living on this earth any longer.

He hated himself, and he wanted to die.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his voice strained with disesteem. She didn't reply, but continued to stare at his fragile hand.

The rain gently hit the windows gently, adding to the gloomy nature of the hospital room everyone had spent the past week cooped up inside of.

Kurt was to be let out in a day, a relief to everyone. They just wanted to be back home, in the states. Rome was absolutely breathtaking, a gorgeous place to be, but the incident had completely overshadowed the grandeur.

Julia had actually showered, ate, and slept. Surprisingly, Dave was the one to intervene, and take her back to the hotel.

______________________________________

"Julia, you look like a zombie," Dave whispered, slouching down beside her. Her back was pressed against the off white wall of the hallway, her knees pulled up to her chest.

She slowly turned to him, a dull, expressionless look on her face. "I'm fine." She croaked, catching her chapped bottom lip in between her teeth. He frowned, and shook his head. "No, you aren't."

She didn't reply, but shifted her gaze up to the ceiling.

"You know I'm right. C'mon, we can go back to the hotel, and you can shower, and sleep. No one's getting rest in those plastic chairs." He said, gesturing towards the door to Kurts room. The offer was tempting, but she shook her blonde head, remaining strong willed.

"Stubborn as a damn mule," he thought.

"I need to stay here, with Kurt, and everyone else." She muttered, avoiding Dave's warm, brown eyes. She knew she'd have to give in if she caught his stare.

"Jules, Kurt wants you to be ok. You don't need to suffer because he is." He said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Fine." She whispered.

She finally cracked.