My Journal

May 5th 2018 (My Favourite till Now)

Thank God For BTS ! And Their Angelic Voices
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Today I have a new list of todos that I need to get done:
Dance
Shower
Face mask
Class preparation
Fast✅
Pray✅
Quran✅
Yoga✅
Copy notes
Vote✅
Water✅
Healthy Iftar
Copy texts (origins and French)
Have extra money✅
Do a good deed✅
Write✅
Do art✅

Update
Today I had a weird feeling of anxiety and I think it was because of the coffee that I had yesterday. My heart was gonna pop out of my chest because of how fast it was beating because I could actually feel it but I was ok after the lecture. I woke up very late (12:00pm) when my lecture is at 1 pm and it takes me 1 hour and 15 min usually to get to class...so , I just did what I had to do ( pray, wash my face, get dressed) and attended the lecture. It helped to listen to the analysis in the lecture.
Then I had a deep conversation with my friend about gender equality and shitty friends. It really relieved a lot of my anxiety or whatever I was feeling.
Then when I was walking to my home I was listening to Euphoria and I realized that when I listen to this song I feel that Euphoria to me means inspiration and motivation to do better. I know that BTS are one of the main reasons that I aspire to be a better person. Also when I was listening to Young Forever I had a thought that we humans are like flowers that blossom every time they die. I mean even if you feel unmotivated and depressed for a while if you have the good base, which is the grass , you can achieve better things for yourself and make yourself grow by accepting the natural cycle of life, the ups and downs, the good and the bad. Then you can trémula blossom into the most beautiful flower you can be despite everything you have been through. So please don't surrender to the dark thoughts nor continue to hurt yourself whether it would be physically or emotionally because all you need to do is to find the spark , the passion, the fire that will motivate you to want to get out of the rut and begin with a fresh start.

Omg 😂 I just realized that I have written a paragraph of simple thoughts 😂 wow I have become deep..🙃

Another update
I just wanted to say that I love how song in foreign languages can have an impact on one's mood and thoughts. I mean you can literally interpret the lyrics in any way you want, especially if you're not fluent, and you can even make up translation in your mind that has a significance to you and relate to you through the theme of the song. I just love this concept. It's also a big mood changer for me.💗

Update
Although I got just 70% of the list done , I will try to do better In Sha' Allah.
I just want to add that I think that I have become more aware of how binge eating is affecting me because whenever I do it I feel so gross and tired and almost drunk and I think this is a part of the sensations that any drug is supposed to cause so now I can see the relation and understand how it is similar to cocaine.
From now on even if I feel a really itching feeling of wanting to eat or snack when I have already ate enough , I will have self control and self respect.💪🏻