The Choice (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

Three

It's as if someone had taken your heart out and shot it three times, then fed it to a wolf. There was just a continuous ache in your chest and that seemed to be the only explanation. That same someone must have taken your vocal box too, because you couldn't bring yourself to speak to anyone. It's like life ended when Bucky's did.
The team always tried to start conversations with you but you'd just stare blankly at the wall until they gave up, and even then you just stared ahead.
Tony left food outside your door three times a day, everyday. He couldn't help but feel disappointed when he found most of them left untouched. The only time you would eat is when Steve would convince you you had to.
Steve. Poor, poor Steve. He had to grieve his best friend for the third time and make sure you were okay.
No remains of his best friend were found, not even his arm. This made the coffin extremely light when Steve Carried it, but triggered a feeling of uncertainty in both Steve and You.

It was another dull Sunday (three weeks after Bucky's death) and the team were split up, all doing their own thing. Steve sat quietly on the couch as his thoughts kept him spaced out.
As his thoughts cascaded through his head, he heard a loud bang from the corridor causing his head to snap towards it. He stood up and ran towards the hallway, noticing your room was the closest.
He knocked softly on your door and waited for your reply. When you didn't answer, he slowly turned the handle and pushed the door open. He had to see if you were alright.
He raced towards you when he saw you laying on your stomach, your towel wrapped around your naked body and your wet hair falling in to your face.
Steve knelt beside you and placed a hand on your back. "Are you okay? What happened?" He helped you up as you shook your head, wiping your eyes quickly. It upset him a little bit to know you wouldn't even talk to him.
He sat you on your bed, crouching in front of you with his hands on your knees. You'd be lying if you didn't like the contact. It was comforting.
"Okay. Did you fall?" You nodded. It was obvious you fell, why did he ask that? "Out of the shower?" He added, you nodded again. He sighed and looked at your knees briefly. They were bruising. "Do you want to see Bruce?" You shook your head. You looked at your thumbs and tried to blink away more tears. Steve didn't know that this is the most contact you've had with anyone in three weeks. Normally when people spoke to you you'd just ignore them, no movement in your actions. But Steve brought you out of that trance. "How about we watch some of those movies you recommended I watch?" He didn't want to leave you alone. You were hurting and truth be told, Steve didn't want to be alone either. Every time he was he would think of Bucky and it hurt too much each time.
You nodded and stood up unsteadily, wobbling over to your set of draws. Steve sat on your bed and watched you assemble some Eeyore pyjamas, underwear and socks.
You turned to look at him expectantly but he only returned a blank look. You raised your eyebrows and he finally caught on. "Oh! Sorry!" He placed his hands over his eyes and aimed his head towards the floor. If you weren't so upset you would've laughed at how cute he was.
When you had gotten dressed, you sat on the bed, tapping Steve to signal he could look again. He climbed up and rested against the headrest as you sorted the film out. No way would he be able to put a film on in this day and age.
When the introduction to Ghostbusters came on, you lay down on your pillow. As the movie played, you couldn't shake the feeling of the contact you received earlier. You hadn't had a lot of it lately and you needed it again. You felt wrong without it. "Steve?" You croaked. You hadn't used your voice in so long.
His head snapped towards you, his brain trying to comprehend if he really heard you speak. You looked up at him waiting for his answer. "Yeah?" He replied in slight shock.
You swallowed and carried on staring up at him. "Can you cuddle me?" Steve's lips quirked upwards ever so slightly as he held his arms open. You carefully lay your head on his chest and wrapped your arm around his torso. His right arm wrapped around your waist as his left hand was placed on your arm. Steve kissed your head and every so often his thumb would stroke you arm.
Steve had to stay in your room that night. It was no surprise you fell asleep. Steve was a giant teddy bear and always seemed to be warm. And, for the first time in three weeks, you felt content.