The Choice (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

Forty Three

You hadn't greeted Steve when you got home, still in slight shock at your actions and the information you had been given. When asked, you told Steve what Bucky had said, and explained how he was going to be talking to Dot tomorrow.
He was distraught, you could tell, but he didn't say anything. You were quiet for the rest of the night, and when Steve asked if anything was up, you only shook your head, guilt overcoming you when he wrapped a comforting arm around you.
Bucky had showed up early, looking a lot better than the day before, and spoke to Dot in the living room. He explained how he needed to go away for a long time to help fight bad guys, and how he wouldn't be able to see her.
Dot hadn't even frowned. She smiled at him and she placed her small hand on his head. "That's okay, dad." She said and Bucky had quickly taken her into a hug. He was never able to truly connect with her, but in this moment, you knew that he would miss her.

"You sure you have everything?" Steve asked as the three of you stood at the launchpad.
Bucky smiled. "Everything I need. Everything else was sold or thrown out."
Steve nodded and frowned slightly. You saw the war in his mind, fighting a loosing battle before he grabbed Bucky and pulled him into a hug. "Stay safe." He grunted as he pulled away.
"I will. I promise." He looked to you and you tried for a smile. "See ya, Sweet." He grinned and you waved him off.
"Stop it." You mumble as you hug him quickly. "We'll miss you." You say, patting his shoulder and he nods.
He looks between the two of you and takes a breath in. Without another word, he turns and gets onto the jet.
None of you were good at goodbyes.
You and Steve stepped inside and his arm wrapped around you as you watched the plane take off.
Your heart sank as Steve kissed your head.

You didn't talk on the ride home, not knowing what to say. But you knew what you needed to say. You needed to tell him what had happened.
You couldn't keep it from him. It wasn't fair.
And so, when you got back into the flat, you caught his hand. "Steve?" He looked at you in a confused way. "I need to tell you something." You blurt and his eyebrows furrow.
"Okay. What's wrong?" He's full of concern and it makes you feel worse.
Sighing, you pull him into the living room, happy that Dot and Joey were with Tony and Pepper. This way it would be just you two when you told him you had actively been unfaithful.
You both sit and he looks even more confused. "Is everything okay?"
You feel the tears start to brim and you shake your head. "No. It's not. I need to tell you something and I just need you to listen otherwise I'm not going to be able to say it." You whimper, lip quivering as you try to breath. "So, the night I went into labour, Bucky kissed me and I pushed him off straight away and I got so angry that I hadn't even realised my waters broke. And I didn't tell you because you seemed to happy with our family and I couldn't do that." You stop to take a breath, but ultimately the tears started.
Steve was frowning, Dave dropping by the minute. "But?" He guessed solemnly and it made you want to cry more.
You feel yourself start to shake. "But, the other day, when I went to see how he was, I was still a little mad but I needed to know why he wasn't talking to us." You let out a sob. "WhenI found out he was leaving, for good, I got so upset." More sobs came, making your shoulders shake with them. "I kissed him." You whimpered out, heart breaking at the look on Steve's face. He looked angry, upset, confused, concerned, all at once. Bubble burst. "I got so caught up in the moment and the sadness I felt and I wish I hadn't. If I could go back and undo it, I would. I'm so sorry, Steve." You wipe at your eyes and nose frantically but the tears don't stop coming.
He's silent, deadly so as he looks anywhere but you. "Please, say something." You plead.
His jaw it tight, hands clenching slightly. "Why are you telling me this now?"
You look at him. "Because I didn't want to keep it from you, and I felt so shitty."
"You should feel shitty." He stands and it makes you flinch. "You have children and a fiancé- a family- and you're trying to throw that away for someone who doesn't give two shits about you or the things he's ruining!" He yells, pointing a finger at you, seemingly seething as he stands over your small form that's hunched on the couch.
"I'm sorry." You whine quietly, placing your head into your hands as you continue to cry. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to harm what we have."
Steve almost feels bad for you. Almost. "You knew how I felt about him and you. You knew how worried I was about loosing you to him." He spits and you quickly jump up to meet him.
"You're not loosing me. I promise. It was just one, stupid kiss." You try to explain but he doesn't listen.
"You knew." His voice breaks. "And you still did it." You can see the tears he's trying to hold back now that you're closer to him.
"I promise, Steve. It didn't mean anything. I didn't do it to hurt you, and it's you who I love, I swear." You place your hands on his face and try to get him to look at you. "Please, Stevie. Please believe me."
His shoulders square and he throws your hands off of him. "How can I ever believe you-trust you, after this?" He finally looks at you, but it's cold and his words hit hard.
He turns and walks away, leaving you in the living room. The bedroom door slams and you jump, collapsing back onto the couch at the realisation of what has happened.
Steve was right. You had ruined this.
Another sob rips through you, and another, and another, until your a crying heap on the sofa.
Unbeknownst to you, Steve was exactly the same in the bedroom.