The Choice (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

Forty Eight

Wanda was stood by the door, exterior hard and almost as if she had taken the role of guard dog.
"Wanda, you can chill out. Steve has a right to see his kids." You call from the sofa.
She grumbles something in Russian then turns to you. "Where was this attitude the last two weeks? Seriously, Y/N, if you two are going to work this out he has a lot of grovelling to do." She huffs out and it strikes a chord in you.
Oh god. Are you and Steve ever going to work this out? With how things were going, it didn't look like either of you could get passed the anger you had. How were you going to get through this play date without going for the other neck?
The train of thought abruptly stops when you hear a knock.
You jump to your feet but seeing as Wanda was closer, she flings it open and glares at Steve. "Look what the car dragged in." She sneers and you roll your eyes.
"Okay Wanda." You warm but she doesn't step down.
Steve looks a little unnerved, which is strange as he would normally shoot back with a quick quip. "What? Think I'd let you crawl back into her life like nothing happened? You should be ashamed of yourself." She spits and you rush to push her away from the door.
"Please just go and see if Joeys awake." Looking at Steve as she bunches away. And Steve didn't look too happy either. His head was hung and he wouldn't meet your eye. "Come in." You croak out. What a great start.
He walks past you. Looking around the apartment and pausing as he heard a quick tapping of feet. Suddenly, as if on auto pilot, he lifts Dot up and holds her against him, burying his face in her hair and closing his eyes.
"I missed you, dad." She says quietly into his shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck and squeezing as tightly as she can.
He let's out a shaky laugh. "I missed you too." He whispers.
God. It made you feel sick to your core. You know it was just as much him as it was you keeping him and the kids away from each other, but the guilt was still nauseating. You feel your lip behind to tremble and bite it steady it.
Steve looks at you and his eyebrows furrow slightly at your watering eyes. "I'll let you two catch up. I think Joeys going to be out till about two. That's his new routine now." You breathe out, forcing and smile and walking past them. As you move into the bathroom, you hear Dot and Steve begin to talk. They seem so excited to be with each other again.
You quickly turn and throw up into the toilet. The sound alerts Wanda and she's softly knocking on the door in seconds. "Are you okay, lovely?" She whispers and you reach up to open the door, wiping your mouth with tissue and flushing the toilet as she comes in.
She sees you slouched on the floor, hand resting on your forehead and elbow on your knee as you begin to cry.
She does what any best friend would do. She sits with you and let's you cry it out. "Want me to get rid of him?" You viciously shake your head.
"I want him to stay." You sob out. Wanda sighs.
What a messy situation. Of course Steve was allowed his own feelings and opinions, and maybe she was biased, but she felt like this was all his fault and not yours. Overreacting, leaving and not calling, or attempting to see her or the kids. It made Wanda alive with rage. And now, here she is, comforting her best friend because she feels guilty.
"You can not possibly blame yourself." She hisses, placing a hand on your knee as a sign of comfort through her anger.
You shake your head. You had gotten over your shame of kissing your ex lover months ago. It was a stupid kiss. But just seeing him and Dot together made you feel responsible for keeping them apart. The phone works two ways.
Wanda bites her lip. "What do you want out of this? Huh?"
"Wanda, I-" you begin your spiel about how it's too messed up how to fix. Something she has heard a lot.
"No, I don't want to hear how it is, I want to hear how you want it to be. Do you want him back? Want to be a happy family again? Or are you okay with being apart from him? Sharing custody and staying friends? At the end of the day, you can't keep going like this. You have to make a choice." She says and it makes total sense. You can't keep going like this.

All this time, all this pain and misunderstanding, from the day Bucky came back-no! Since the day Bucky died, always kept you thinking your choice was only between Bucky and Steve. That you could only love one or the other, dead or alive.
But all this time, it wasn't actually that. Your choice was between a painful relationship that needed work from the start, or being on your own.
Both were okay options. Both had hardships and great times. It's what made the choice so much harder.
But you had to make it soon.