The Choice (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

Forty Two

"I want to move to a house." You thought out loud as you scrolled through a list of houses for sale on your laptop.
Steve's head perked up and he looked at you from his armchair. "Sorry?" He asked in confusion.
You look up at him and smile, almost pleadingly. "Wouldn't it be nicer? Living in a big house with a nice garden that Dot and Joey can play in?" You say almost wistfully.
He laughs and shakes his head. "I guess it would be nicer, but, we've had so many great memories here." He places his book on his lap.
You get up and sit on the arm of the chair. "But think of all the other great memories we can make." You lightly argue, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
He laughs again and leans up to kiss you. "I'll think about it." He says against your lips.
"You better." You return the gesture before kissing him again.
"Gross!" Dot cries and covers her eyes, causing you and Steve to laugh together.
"Do you not like me and daddy being lovey dovey?" You asked as you sank on to Steve's lap, legs thrown over the arm of the chair.
She shook her head quickly. "No! No kissing!" She points a finger and Steve laughs. You place a hand on his cheek and look at Dot as you slowly go to kiss Steve, making a humming sound and trying not to laugh.
She jumps up and climbs onto your lap, placing a hand on your mouth. "No, mommy!" She giggles and you pretend to eat her hand.
You stop and look at Steve. "I guess we'll just have to give our kisses to Dot instead." You shrug and Steve nods solemnly.
You both look at Dot and within seconds you're both attacking her with kisses to her face. She squealed as she laughed and tried to wriggle free.

You knew you had to eventually. Standing at the door wasn't a way you wanted to spend your afternoon, but your heart was pounding in your chest. But why? It was just Bucky. You had seen him so many times without feeling like this.
When you hadn't seen him since your labour, you knew something was up, and so you took it upon yourself to check in on him, telling Steve you'd just drop in, see what was up, and come home. He seemed fine with it, more so than yourself.
Finally, you knocked. And there was a scatter of sound from the other side. Your fingers fumbled together as you waited and then he opened the door.
He looked awful. Bags under his eyes, hair a mess, stains on his clothes. "Hi." He even sounded awful.
"Hi." You breath, staring up at him. "I didn't tell Steve about how you kissed me when I went into labour." May as well rip the bandaid off, right? It was true. You figured you didn't want to burst the bubble of the perfect family you had with him. Better that he didn't know.
"Okay." He stated with a gruff voice, eyebrows furrowing.
You begin to talk. "Well, I figured that we hadn't seen you in a while, and I thought it was because you thought I had told Steve and you were avoiding us because you didn't want a fight...or something." You explain and Bucky looks at you for a solid minute before sighing and opening his door fully.
You walked past him and stared at his apartment, face dropping into a frown as he closed the door. You were surrounded by boxes. Surrounded is an exaggeration. There were a total of 8, and you hadn't been to his apartment before, but you had imagined he had at least unpacked in the time he was here.
You turn to look at him and see him already looking at you, an expression that matched a timid dog. "Oh." Is all you said, letting the realisation wash over you.
His eyes travel to the floor and he follows. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you, tell Dot." He shakes his head. "Bottom line is that I can't do this anymore." He slumps slightly and it all makes sense now.
But you still question him. "Can't do what?" You croak, feeling your throat dry up quickly.
He looks around him and then lands on you. "This life. Trying to be a good dad, trying to get a grip when I'm around you, trying to act like I'm still not a little messed up from everything that's happened." He lists calmly, as though he's had a lot of time to think this out.
You lip wobbles, but you don't know why. "So you're just running away?" You ask, almost as a whisper.
He swallows. "Yeah. I'm running away."
"But Dot-" you try to argue.
He's quick to cut you off. "Already has a great dad. She doesn't need me messing everything up."
Your face screws up. "You can't just come into her life and then leave when she gets comfortable. That's not fair. Are you not even gonna say goodbye?" You become angry as tears well in your eyes.
Bucky walks towards you, boots thudding on the floor. "Of course! I'm going to talk to her, I promise." He looks up and breathes. "I just think that this was inevitable, and that it's better to leave while it's still early." He explains.
You don't respond, letting his words sink in. "So you're never coming back?" You whimper and he shakes his head after a second. "Where will you go?"
"Fury's found some things to keep me busy. And when I'm not beating up the bad guys, I'll be in a safe house." You nod and he places his hands on your shoulders. "I truly am sorry for all of this. The lying, the disappearing...and reappearing." You surprisingly laugh, only quietly though, and it's soon gone.
"I just wish you weren't leaving us, Buck." You look up at him and he smiles sadly, something that tells you that to him, this was the only solution. And in that moment, you realised why your heart had been beating so fast, why you wanted to cry. Because somewhere, deep down, you knew you still loved Bucky. Not as strongly as before, and certainly nowhere near to how much you loved Steve, but you did.
You weren't thinking, to tied up on the moment to realise yourself rocking onto your tip toes and softly placing your lips on his.
He responds immediately and let's his lips move with yours, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist as your hands cradle his face.
Your lips part, foreheads remaining connected as you let yourself bask in this moment.
You both complete pull away and take in what just happened. "I better be going." You say, and he nods.
"I'll be around tomorrow, but the day after, I'm leaving." He states and you nod once in response before heading towards the door.
What had you just done?

A two in one today folks. Just a small warning for the next one though xoxo