The Choice (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

Forty Six

It's a few days later, and it still hurts. It hurts how he left without putting up a fight, without at least holding you, without trying to plead that he at least should stay to be around his kids, and that you could work it out now. You hate how he did none of those things. It was like he didn't even care anymore.
But nowadays it seemed your whole existence is built around men disappointing you.
You think Dot has caught on to your moping, although you do try to keep it to yourself. You can see she knows something is up when she studies you, eyes bearing into you, when she asks if you're okay seven times a day, and each time you have to smile and nod because you can't let your little girl see how much both her dads have killed you inside. Not when she loves them both so much.

It's a few days after Steve left, and he's still kicking himself. Why hadn't he fought harder to stay? He didn't hate you, he just needed time to cool off, and now it seemed that this distance was cooling him off too much. He didn't want to be living in the compound again, with the team who now had split
in two on terms of who hates Steve. He wanted to be home, with the kids, and you. He wanted to be able to talk this through with you and sort it out so he could hold and kiss you again, and he wouldn't have to deal with Wanda using her powers to move everything out of his reach every night at dinner. He wanted to not have Tony make snarky remarks and shoot daggers at him, or have Nat and Sam reassure him that everything would be okay and that they were still his friends, as well as yours. He just wanted this to be over, but given how he overreacted, he wondered if you'd ever let him come home.

It still stings after a week, and Joey can tell that his dad isn't around. He screams throughout the night, only eats when he absolutely has to and seems to hate you holding him.
You want to cry. Your own child hates you, and it doesn't help that Dot has started to rebel. The absence of Steve makes her agitated, and she misbehaves in every way she can, somehow wishing it will bring him home, even if it means to tell her off.
You're starting to go under, starting to not be able to cope as well as you thought you would.
And he hasn't even called. Hasn't seen if you're okay, if the kids are. If you need help, if you're doing fine with two difficult super children.
You've taken to crying in the bathroom every night once you've put them to bed. It's the only five minutes of quiet you get before Joey wakes up again, or Dot refuses to go to bed.

And a week later for Steve, he loses his phone. He can't find it anywhere and suspects Wanda. But of course he doesn't accuse her. He searches over the whole compound, asking everyone and no one has seen it. He asks Tony to borrow a phone, and is ignored. He asks Wanda, and is told that it's best he keep his distance from you. He asks Bruce, and he says he doesn't have a phone anymore.
Why did Nat and Sam have to go on a mission this week.
He toys with coming to see you. Thinks it would be nice to see you all and he'd be able to talk to you. But then he thinks about how mad you could get, how angry you'd be because he showed up unannounced.
Maybe he's overthinking, but he starts to think he doesn't know you that well anymore.

And now, exactly eleven days after you asked Steve to leave, you remain in constant stress.
"Dot! Put that down!" You yell as you bounce a screaming Joey on your hip, praying he'd quiet down enough for you to feed him.
She looks at the mug in her hand and then to you. "No!" She yells back."
"Yes! Or else." You threat, too tired to even think of a proper punishment.
"If I drop it, are you going to send me away like you did with my dads?" She says with such venom, and it halts all your movements, making something catch at the back of your throat.
It seems you take too long to answer, and she throws the mug down, making you flinch and and making Joey wail louder.
"Go to your room!" You shout, louder than you had hoped, and she doesn't like it.
"I hate you!" She screams back and the tears well in your eyes as she storms off.
You don't know what to do, whether you tend to Joey or the broken mug, or try and talk to Dot, but before you can do anything, the door goes, and it seems that everything has become too much.
Holding it together, or trying to, you go to the door and open it, feeling confused as Wanda stood in front of you.
And then it really becomes too much, and you finally let everything from almost the past two weeks out, bursting into tears in front of your best friend.