The Choice (Steve Rodgers x Reader)

Forty Five

Wow I keep disappearing on you guys and I'm sorry. Lockdown has made me lazy as hell.

That's how it went for a week. No eye contact. Short conversations that only happened when they need to. I'm taking Dot to school. Okay. Maybe later we can do something? I'm busy.
It seemed that no matter what you tried he was holding on to his anger, his new found hatred for you. Of course you couldn't blame him for that, but the constant wall that was building between you, a brick added with each snarky remark, you couldn't take it for much longer.
And nothing was going to be resolved if neither of you had time to think about what you wanted, how to move forward from this. Well, you could. You wanted everything back to normal. You wanted your fiancé back and wanted him not to look at you with slight disgust when he thought you couldn't see.
It was clear it was Steve that needed that time.

He came in from his morning run, not even breaking a sweat but still seeming slightly tired. You could tell by his slight increase in breath. You didn't greet him, just continued to make Dot and Joey breakfast.
He looked you over, noticed the ring still on your finger and fixated on it. It had all gotten a bit out of control. He didn't mean for his anger to go on this long. He just wanted a few days to cool off and not have to deal with the fact that you had kissed his best friend. But then he found he couldn't cool off, no matter what he tried, and now he had grown so accompanied to sleeping on the couch that he was worried if he slept in the bed again, he wouldn't be able to sleep.
You place the knife that you were cutting fruit up with gently down on the worktop and looked at Steve.
It was silent for a few seconds as you both stared at each other, properly saw each other in a good week and a half. Your eyes were finally meeting his and you didn't want the moment to end. Not after so long of not feeling this way with him.
But all things must come to an end.
He bows his head and goes to walk further into the apartment, but he's stopped by your voice.
"Steve, we need to discuss something." You call out, almost panicked by his movement to leave.
He halts his body and looks at you again. He looks you over once more and thinks for a second. With a slight nod, he walks over to the kitchen area and leans against the worktop as you try to muster the strength you need.
You swallow thickly. "I've been thinking a lot these past few days. The way we've been acting isn't good, not if we're going to raise two children together. At some point we've got to put these differences apart and think of them." He opens his mouth and just by the look on his face you know he's going to say something hurtful. "I'm not asking for an argument." His mouth closes slowly as he looks at you in slight shock. "I just-" you take a breath and look away from him. "I think we need some time apart. Some time to think about what we-what you want to happen. Whether you want this relationship to progress and in what way."
He takes it in for a few minutes and every second that passes, you're scared he's getting more angry. "How are we meant to do that when we live together?" He says, almost in a grunt and you look back at him with a worried expression. He seems to know what you're about to say. "I see. So, you're kicking me out."
"I'm not kicking you out. I'm giving you an option that I'm hoping you'll take." You defend yourself and Steve closes his eyes, rubbing his forehead. "I know the team will be happy to have you at the tower, and if you won't go then I will, and I'll take the kids with me." You offer, your tone a lot softer than before.
Steve didn't seem to argue with the fact that the kids would stay with you. A baby that's only a few months old does need it's mother. And it wouldn't make sense to take Dot. For what? A small payback against you? It wasn't fair on anyone involved.
He couldn't imagine how difficult it would be to relocate a baby and a young girl, especially to a tower not made for them, no matter how much Tony protests that it's safe.
He sighs in defeat, hanging his head. He knows you're right. He does need time, to cool off, to think, to see if he still wants something with you.
He likes to think he does, but it's so hard to know when a million other things are constantly occupying his mind.
"Okay." He breathes out. "Okay. Yeah I'll move out for a while." He agrees and turns to you. He places a hand briefly on your shoulder and you try not to let your heart leap from your chest. "I'll go pack and say goodbye to the kids." He says grimly, smiling sadly and it breaks your heart that it's come to this.
"It's for the best." You remind him, but it's mostly for yourself, reassuring yourself that this will resolve the whole matter, one way or another.
He nods and let's his hand drop from your frame.
When he's packed and had his hugs from Dot, he stands at the door and watches as you cradle his son.
Your eyes meet for a final time but he doesn't smile, doesn't hold you or say goodbye. He just leaves.