Started with a cookie... Marcus and Martinus

Part 17: Hate again

Maria's pov/

Here I am. Another day in paradise: school. I'm not in the mood to start a fight with anyone right now, to get hate for my hairstyle or even my clothes.

But actually, for the first time in my life, I was a little bit excited to go to school. Because today I will know if my plan worked.

When I agreed on helping the boys with their song, it was because I wanted to be popular at school for working with Norway's biggest pop stars of all time, to end my misery and everything I have been going through because of bullies. But things didn't turn out as expected...

"Look who's here, the joke!"

"Oh poor girl, you think if you worked with someone popular, you'll become popular too. What a logic! I'm pretty sure you kept begging them to give you a chance."

"Wake up girl. You'll always be a joke! A shame! A burden!"

These words hit me like a rock against a window: they broke my heart and the sad part is, what's broken can't be fixed. I'm meant to live this way, forever.

I deserve this hate, I was a fool when I thought that i'll become someone that matters, that someone cares about me, that I'm not a shame to my parents.

But I was wrong!

I ran away from school and I kept all day long sobbing in our backyard. I hate to cry in front of people, I don't want to seem weak and feel like i'm begging for sympathy, but who am I kidding it's the truth. I was home alone. Piper was with her friends, and my parents... don't get me started.

Some people won't be happy until they have pushed you to the ground.
And sadly, I don't have the courage to stand up and forget about everything that had happened. My soul is scarred emotionally, and that will take time to heal, though i'm not sure if it will ever heal.

I tried to keep it in, but I couldn't. Tears kept running down my cheeks all day. It feels good to cry. Sometimes, you need to cry your eyes out to release all the hurt you have built inside.

I looked around. Leaving Trofors isn't the right thing to do anymore, because I know my problems will never fade away...

I don't know what I need to do.

I feel like everything is falling apart faster than I can pick the pieces back up and put them together.

I looked specifically at the sky this time. I have always been in love with the sky. Even when everything seems to fall apart in my life, it was always there for me.

I was drowning in my own thoughts when suddenly I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

I turned and saw Martinus standing right in front of me. I rushed to wipe away my tears because I'm not ready for his questions right now. He leaned closer and with his napkin, he helped me to wipe them away.

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

I tried to avoid his eyes that were starring at me, waiting for me to answer.

I like Martinus, a lot. But I'd rather be left alone.

"Martinus what are you doing here? In my backyard? And don't you have school right now?"

"Well Marcus and I are practising so we have this day off. Plus I was walking and I heard someone crying so..."

I couldn't let him finish so I immediately interrupted him:

"Well then leave. You have bigger problems to handle."

I kind of said it in a rude way, but I had to. I was hurt, who can blame me?

"Well I wanted to help y..."

"You know what, I don't need your help or pity so leave me alone."

I could see he was shocked due to my reaction. I didn't know what got into me.

I lost everything.

I have even lost the only person that actually cares about me.

At least that's what I think...