𝐰𝐝𝐰 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 & 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

even in the dark › d.s.

you said you wanted space, but little did you know you were my whole universe.

she had been distant recently, and i didn't know why. it annoyed me that i didn't know why. i always knew, i was able to see what was wrong, what was hurting her. but for a long time, it was like i was blocked out from her. she built up a large brick wall that was impossible to break down no matter how hard i tried. 

and every time i tried, repeatedly, over and over again, i was thrown against the hard surface of the bricks, having my flesh scraped, my bones crushed, and my heart broken. 

i would watch her fall asleep, i would watch her wake up, i would watch her make breakfast, i would watch her go to work. but i just couldn't see what was wrong. and i knew (y/n), she had been my girlfriend for two years. i knew something was wrong, and i knew she wasn't just going to tell me. i knew that i had to figure out for myself, no matter how long it took.

but i just couldn't.

the wall (y/n) built was stronger than ever, stronger than before, and i couldn't break it down this time.

(y/n) was so smart, so funny, so beautiful, so kind. but she was also stubborn. she didn't like talking about these things, emotions and her mental health. i understood, but she had to tell someone. i tried to tell her not to bottle it up like this, that it wasn't healthy, but she wouldn't listened. 

and that broke me, because i was the only person (y/n) would listen to. of course, i would never take advantage of that power, but at the time, it seemed like i needed to. she was worse than ever, and all she needed to do was listen to me. but she wouldn't.

when i met (y/n), she was in a bad place. you couldn't tell though. she covered it up with fake happiness, she wore a thick mask, so thick that you couldn't see the pain behind it. it was after four months of dating (y/n) moved in with me and my band mates and i had to tell them about her depression. when i brought her to meet the boys, they didn't even notice it. but i did.

it's strange, because even the boys notice how different she was really talk anymore. she didn't smile. she would sit on her phone or reading a book or writing something on the computer, but she didn't look at us anymore.

"do you think i said something wrong?" i asked corbyn one night. jack, jonah, and zach had been asleep on the floor as we watched a movie, (y/n) asleep upstairs. well, i thought so.

i had gone to corbyn because he was the only band member who had been in a relationship, a serious relationship. i saw how corbyn and christina were together. they were perfect. they managed a long distance relationship and i didn't know how. i wanted me and (y/n) to be like that, and i thought we would've been like that until she slowly started to wander away from me. 

she was like a lost animal. she didn't really know who to go to, or who she belonged to. not that she belonged to anybody, (y/n) was independent. but it was like she didn't know where to go, even with me attempting to direct her the path.

"danny, i don't think you did anything wrong." corbyn answered, whispering to keep the boys asleep. i sighed, looking at the figures that rested soundly on the floor. 

"then why i she so distant?" i asked. corbyn knew i didn't really want an answer. i guess he could tell it was a rhetorical question because he stayed silent, gently breathing because at that moment, i was more fragile than i had ever been.

after a few minutes, i found myself almost drifting off to sleep, corbyn the exact same way. my eyes shot open as i remembered (y/n) hated to lay by herself. i got off the couch and walked to our shared room to lay with her.