𝐰𝐝𝐰 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 & 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

one more night › z.h.

inspired by "hostage" by billie eilish.

i lied there silently, my eyes almost closed. i felt the comfortably cold air flow into his room through his window. it was only cracked open the slightest bit, but the wind outside was uncontrollable, and it made its way as much as it could.

the music that he had played was now quiet and dim, almost impossible to hear. the sounds outside were only the sounds of the wind, the trees, a few cars passing by in the street, and the quiet song of crickets. 

i sighed to myself, knowing i shouldn't have been there at the time. it was a sin, what i was doing, but he was so luring. every time i told him that i had to leave, he begged me to stay, and i fell for it every time.

the boys approved of me, while they didn't really like me.  i understood why. i was dating their youngest fellow band member. they were nice to me, and they had manners, but i knew deep down that they didn't like me.

i didn't have to ask why.

i was convinced that zach loved me. i don't know how, but i was. he was so bubbly, so positive. he was very cute. he was exactly the type of boy i needed in high school, but of course, i was only a few years late.

his breath was warm on the back of my neck, and every time he exhaled, i felt shivers running up and down my spine. i loved it though. i loved the feeling of his breath on my neck as we sleep.

i had realized that zach was sound asleep, and there would be no waking him up. i breathed as i gently lifted his arm from my waist, letting it stay in its place when i lifted my body from his bed. i carefully stepped on zach's floor, making my way across his room, trying not to step on the creaking floor boards.

but that didn't matter. i heard shuffling come from the bed, and i turned around to see zach lifting himself up against the headboard and wiping his eyes as he looked around the room. 

"(y/n)?" he whispered, feeling the spot next to him. once he noticed i wasn't there, he rushed to his light and flipped the switch, causing the room to be illuminated and my figure near the door appear. 

"hey, baby," i said. "go back to bed. go back to sleep, zach." i reassured him. i stayed in my spot next to the door, ready to leave this house for the last time. 

"please, (y/n)," he begged. he looked at me with those puppy eyes. those eyes that made me swoon every time i looked into them. "please, stay tonight. i don't want you to go."

i sighed. i couldn't give in. i had to stay strong. i had to fight that desperation that lived in my heart and i had to leave. if i stayed, there would be no going back. i couldn't stay. i just couldn't. i couldn't stay, i couldn't stay, i couldn't stay.

"fine, zach," i said, fighting off every thought in my head that i should've listened to. "i'll stay. but only for tonight." i compromised. i climbed into his bed watching him smile at me. 

"thank you, baby," his angelic voice whispered. i placed myself under the covers and rested my head against the undeniably comfortable pillow. i felt zach's arms wrap around me as his touch sent me to sleep.

»«

it happened again. i found myself lying in zach's bed again. it had been three weeks since i had last told myself that this was it. it had gotten to be a habit. i would receive a text from zach, him practically begging for me to come over. i would tell myself "no, this isn't right. i can't do this."

and yet every time, i found myself wound up in this stupid house, in his stupid room, underneath his stupid but comfortable duvet, safely secured in his arms. i stayed wide awake until i knew zach was asleep for sure. this was the last time. i couldn't stay. it wasn't right.