A journey happens in a book, happens in an hour, happens in a few minutes even. A journey of memories, of graduation, or goodbyes, and even hellos. This is my journey. This book, which people see and maybe even read. A journey of my thoughts, because I don't usually speak of my personal life anymore, and if I do it's never direct. I thank you for accompanying me on my journey of thoughts. For there will always be more to see. More for me to write, more for you to envision and more for us both to imagine. This is my journey, and I'm beginning to feel reminiscent.
Our journey starts with a young girl, into a new place to learn. A new school. She doesn't know what she's doing, and she's still so naïve and stunning. Of course, she still has her dark thoughts, more so than now. That's a fact for later though. She enters each day with doubts, but when she makes friend they hide away, she remembers the rooms she goes into, but not their numbers. Her math class is something she dreads the night before but enjoys the afternoon after. Her thoughts steadily grow worse.
The second stone in our journey is where her thoughts affect her so badly, where she's caused so much pain to people that didn't need it. Where she truly hated someone. She doesn't play like she would like to, her mind is dark. There has been loss in her life. Even more so, one of those losses embodies her. Her soul, her thoughts, their words are her. She questions why she lives and they do not, she wanted nothing more than to die, and be gone quietly and quickly, no ties. To sleep forever. The loss of her self rattles her, and she breaks down.
The rest of the loss is thought through by her, to love herself, to be more in tune with who she is, to reassure herself. She has someone by her side, who guides her. She questions still, but sees within herself the answers.
The journey continues on, she gets hurt, she becomes stronger, she loses hate and looks brighter. She smiles, but she becomes quieter at times. She knows this is who she is, but at the same time knows who she is is susceptible to change. Because she will change. She lives, brighter than before.
The journey hasn't ended, and I still live. I continue life, and I continue to grow. Perhaps it will end, perhaps no one will be there for me. I will be found, even when lost, because I am my own compass.
