Haunted

Nightmares

I was in the viewing room of interrogation 1 & 2. With the little sleep and constant fear and memories I'd retreated to my safe haven once again. I felt bad since The director said I had to stop using it as my office but you can't please everyone and right now I needed to do what was best for me to keep my mind happy. I'd stayed up all night working on the case and must have fallen asleep this morning I was mid nightmare when I felt someone shaking me which woke me up.

"Still having the nightmares?" Gibbs ask, well kind of tells me and I nod.

"Still having flashbacks?" Gibbs then questions and I nod again.

"Is there something else as well?" He enquires.

"Yeah." I mumble.

"What else?" He asks.

"I think he's still alive Gibbs, I keep seeing him in crowds. I've even managed to convince myself that Ziva is in on it all and that's how he's still alive following me around." I tell him.

"Megan, He's not alive. I saw him die with my own two eyes, he was shot bled out in my basement." Gibbs tells me.

"I know, I know it's stupid but I can't help it. I can't forget any of it and it's like he's haunting me." I say starting to cry a little.

Gibbs pulls me in for a hug and we sit in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Get some sleep, I'll come and check on you in a bit." Gibbs tells me before leaving the room.

I lay my head back down on the makeshift bed but I can't sleep anymore so I go back to work on my computer. I'm working away when Ducky comes in a little while later.

"Megan, have you been sleeping here?" Ducky asks pointing to the made up bed on the floor.

"Less sleeping more napping I don't sleep well at home at the minute." I tell him.

"You're still having the nightmares." Ducky asks and I nod.

"Wait Ducky are you evaluating me?" I ask noticing that he is writing stuff down in a notebook.

"Gibbs didn't tell you?" Ducky questions.

"No, Why do I need evaluating? I'm fine." I reply.

"Have you ever heard of ptsd?" Ducky enquires.

"Yeah Post Traumatic Stress disorder." I tell him.

"Gibbs thinks that you are displaying some signs of ptsd." he explains.

"I don't have ptsd Ducky." I reply a little take aback.

"Why don't you tell me about the nightmares first." Ducky tells me.

"Ari's usually involved or Ziva. Different situations but always the same ending, one of them kills You, Gibbs, Tim, Tony, Abby, Jimmy and the director and I always get out alive." I explain.

"How often are these occurring?" He asks.

"Most nights." I reply.

"You still having the flashbacks?" He then questions.

"Yes, the day Kate was killed, the day I was shot at, again most days." I answer.

"Anything else that is worrying you?" He then asks.

"I keep thinking I see Ari, I know it's not him but I guess I just have to wait for it to sink in that he is actually dead." I reply.

"You are definitely showing signs of ptsd, especially when you take into account your mood swings epically around Ziva and the fact your hiding away in here from all the memories and reminders." Ducky explains.

"I'll be fine Ducky, I just need to get my head around everything." I reply not wanting to believe him.

"When did all this start?" Ducky questions.

"After Kate died and amplified when I was shot at." I reply.

"So you're experience post traumatic stress?" Ducky asks with a little smile.

I nod and then work out what he's trying to say.

"Ok Ducky so if I do have it then what do I do now?" I ask him.

"I'm going to call up a friend of mine who works at a rehabilitation centre for ex-matrilateral personel. She should be able to help you." Ducky tells me.

"Rehab?" I ask a little shocked.

"You won't need stay, your not too serve but you will need to go and see her, she'll be able to help you cope." Ducky replies.

A/N - Hope you guys like it pls leave me a comment letting me know what you think xx