He Heals Me

Chapter 15: Couch Talks

Author POV

Larry listened to music while getting dressed after his shower. He went with a comfy outfit since they would just be chilling at Kina's for the evening. His mind was still reeling from the newest revelation of today's session. He tried his best to put it to the back of his mind. On his way out, he realized he hadn't eaten since this morning. Thinking about just grabbing something on the way, he texts Kina to see if she had eaten. She responds that she's cooking right now and that he's welcome to have some. Larry smiles down at his phone and slides into his car. He sent Kina another text as he started his car to say he was on the way. Putting his phone down he pulls out of his parking spot and hits the road.

15 minutes later

Larry pulls up to Kina's place and walks up to the lift for her apartment. He rings the buzzer to let Kina know he's arrived. Upstairs Kina rushes over to push the button to let him up. Once the lift reached Kina's loft Larry walked to her open door. He entered seeing Kina sitting on her couch Indian style. Not really sure what to say he just sat beside her draping his arm over the couch behind her. Kina invited herself into the space under his arm, laying her head against his chest. His arm wrapped around her to rub her arm as she just lay there with her eyes closed. After a quiet sigh he decided to speak.

L: Just so you know we don't have to talk about what was said today. This side of our relationship is whatever you want to make it and I won't push you for talk about those things. I would be fine just being able to hold you like this.

K: *opens her eyes to look up at him* I know. I just feel vulnerable and I want to be close to you. If you do have questions however, I'm willing to answer them.

L: I really only have one. Why haven't you told anyone about this? Someone could have helped you through it.

K: A few reasons actually...For one, I was ashamed. Two, this kind of wasn't the first time that this happened to me. Three, by this time in the relationship no one I knew wanted me to be with him and even though they were right I just didn't want to deal with the backlash.

L: Wait, what do you mean this wasn't the first time? Someone else do this to you?

K: I was molested as a child. A family member used to touch me inappropriately when I was little. I feel like that's why I have such a screwed up outlook on how love should be. Ever since I was little the love I experienced hurt. So why should it be any different after I grew up? Isn't that what all the old love songs say? That love hurts?

L: It should no hurt that bad. Honestly I don't think it should hurt at all. I think it should feel like the best medicine. It should heal. It should make you feel like no one could or had ever hurt you.

K: Have you ever been in love?

L: Once.

K: How was that?

L: It was beautiful for the most part. She came into my life at a time when I was young and dumb and I didn't deserve her. I didn't do really bad things but I didn't give her the love she need in return for the love she give me. So she leave me. She get tired of me being too busy for her or not romantic enough, not soft enough. I was flexing to impress my friends and because of that I lose her.

K: Did you learn from your mistakes?

L: Yeah but when I try again for be with her she was happy with someone who deserve her. I could no take that from her. No matter how bad my heart hurt. It would be selfish. I just decide to never make that mistake again. To be good to woman who choose to give me her love.

K: That's kind of beautiful.

Kina's focus on Larry's face was hard to ignore. He knew she was burning holes in the side of his face but since they were so close he didn't dare turn toward her. Their lips would be close enough to touch and as much as he wanted to kiss her pain away. He knew now was not the time, with her being so vulnerable.