He Heals Me

Chapter 17: Maybe It Is Progress

Larry POV

Kina hasn't said so much as a word since we made it to her place. I walked her up to her door but she grabbed my hand after she opened the door and led me inside. She led me to her couch and just kind of left me here. She went to the back and showered and changed. It had been about thirty minutes before she came back. Her eyes were slightly puffy and red. My heart hurt for her. She climbed on the couch and laid a blanket over herself before laying her head on my thigh. My hand immediately found a place in her hair massaging her scalp. She closed her eyes for a second just breathing before she said one word, well more like a name.

K- Jordan.
L- That was him at the restaurant?
K- Yes.
L- Was that the same woman?
K- Yes.
L- Do you want to talk about this right now?
K- I.....*sighs* yes.
L- How did seeing them make you feel?
K- Stupid.
L- Why?
K- Because I shouldn't care anymore. I have you and you are amazing to me. He shouldn't bother me anymore. I don't even want him!
L- Hey hey. You have nothing to prove with me. I know my place in your life. Being upset about this doesn't mean you feel any less than you do for me. You know something?
K- What?
L- If you hadn't reacted the way you did, I would be worried.
K- Why is that?
L- Because if I had come into your life just to fill the empty hole that he left, we would only last as long as that hole was there to fill. Once it healed, there would be no more room for me. Do you understand?
K- Not at all.
L- Imagine that he left a small cut on your finger. Well what do you do with a cut? You put a bandaid over it. So I would be a bandaid. Once the cut healed up, I would no longer serve a purpose in your life. So you would remove me.
K- I wouldn't do that to you.
L- I know. I'm not your bandaid. *smiles*
K- *smiles* I'm sorry I ruined our date.
L- You didn't ruin anything. If you want, we can still finish our date.
K- How? I'm not even dressed anymore.
L- You don't need to get dressed to watch a movie with me.

Kina looked at Larry with soft eyes and smiled. Larry got up to start some popcorn while Kina turned on the TV to look for a movie to watch. When Larry returned, he had the bottle of mustard in tow since he wasn't sure of how much Kina liked to put on hers. He set the items down on the coffee table seeing that Kina had not yet picked a movie. After removing his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves, he softly grabbed the remote from Kina and searched for Seven Pounds.

K- How did you know I want to watch that?
L- Because it's your favorite movie and you say when you're sad, it helps you feel better.

Larry looked away from her and back at the TV. Kina stares at the side of his face and wonders what she could have done to deserve Larry. He sensed her staring and softly turned her face to the TV without looking. The two were both smiling and attempting to hold in a laugh but failed miserably and spent the next couple of minutes snickering. Once they calmed themselves, they resumed watching the movie. Kina snuggled into Larry's side as they watched. From time to time, he would lay a soft kiss to the top of her head. Kina pretended she didn't notice but by now she was positively beaming inside. She thought to herself that maybe she is making progress after all. Not only is she happy with Larry, but she's beginning to be happy with just herself. It's a peculiar feeling. The movies comes to Kina's favorite part. Will Smith is in the bathtub with the jellyfish and it seems like the whole world is coming crashing down. Kina grabs ahold of one of Larry's hands. He looks at her briefly before turning back to the movie.

K- This is my favorite part.
L- Him dying?
K- Yeah.
L- Kind of morbid, don't you think?
K- Not at all. I think it's often lost in translation, the meaning of this scene.
L- He killed himself.
K- He wanted to die but he could have done it in any number of ways. He used he jellyfish because other methods of death would leave his organs unfit to donate. He wanted his heart to still be of use to her. I've always admired the poetry in that.
L- Care to expand on that last statement?
K- Is this therapist Larry or boyfriend Larry?
L- Did you just call me your boyfriend? *cheeses at her*
K- Yes, I did.
L- Well then yes. I am Larry, the boyfriend.
K- So you know how it was his fault that those people died at the beginning of the movie right?
L- Yeah.
K- He knew that the jellyfish would be a painful way to go and he probably could have found another way. He felt he deserved to die that way, alone and in pain.
L- Ah but hadn't he done enough at that point? He had helped so many people.
K- I don't think you can ever make that up to someone and even if the people affected forgive you, how do you forgive yourself?
L- Damn, I guess I do see your point.
K- I love the scene when Ezra and the woman met and she could look into his eyes again. Even though she knew he was gone. Reminds me of the videos where people meet the recipients of their loved ones' hearts after they die. They let them listen to it with a stethoscope. It's like knowing a part of them lives on somewhere.

As Kina spoke, she kept her eyes on the scenes on the TV as they passed. Larry had turned to look at her a while ago and could only think of how beautifully her mind worked. He felt a sense of pride. He was proud of her strength and the way she still saw some beauty in the world despite her past.

L- That's beautiful.
K- It really is. This movie gave me hope that someone could love me that much one day.
L- I'm pretty sure your heart is working well enough but your eyes... man I tried your glasses on. You can have one of my eyes. *smiles proudly *
K- Really?! Only one? *laughing*
L- I would still want to be able to see you! *chuckles*
K- I guess I can accept that. So what you saying? You love me or something?

Larry lifted Kina from beside him on the couch to being cradled in his arms. He looked into her eyes. The gaze was a bit too intense for Kina so she looked down. He brought his index finger under her chin to lift her face back to him.

L- Yes, I do love you.
K- I....
L- No.
K- ...but...
L- I don't need a response. You're here. I'm happy with that until you're ready to say it.

Kina stared at Larry for a while not saying anything. Larry couldn't read her face. She seemed to be thinking hard about something.

K- Will you stay the night?

Larry was shocked at her words to say the least. He was enjoying his time with Kina but he had already started preparing himself for when the movie ended and the time came for him to leave her. At first thought, it didn't seem like a bad idea. But what if she wanted to have sex? It sucks to think that way. He would want to, but what if she was trying to do that for him because he said he loved her. He didn't say it for that. He said it because he does love her.

Kina watched Larry while he sat silently thinking. She tried to not let self-doubt cloud her thoughts. Her mind still raced with questions like: Why did I say that to him? What is he thinking? What if he says no? Why am I so stupid? I shouldn't have asked. She started to remove herself from Larry's arms so she could run away. Embarrassment had set in and Kina didn't want him to see her in that moment. From the second he felt her move, Larry tightened his embrace around her.

L- Hey hey. Where are you going in such a hurry?
K- I'm an idiot. *begins to sniffle*
L- Why you say this?
K- You don't want to stay. I don't know why I asked. I'm being weird and clingy.
L- Oh Kina. No you're not. I want to stay. I always want to be around you. I just try to give you space. It's just-*sighs*
K- It's just what?
L- I have a question to ask and you have to promise that you won't get offended.
K- Impossible to foresee.
L- Kinnnaaaaa!
K- Fine I'll try okay.
L- What do you want to happen tonight?
K- What do you mean?
L- Do you want to do anything other than watching TV and snuggling on the couch?
K- You mean like sex.
L- Um...yeah.
K- I mean I would like to at some point but not tonight, if that's okay.
L-*blows out a sigh of relief* Ok good.
K-*gets mad and punches Larry in the arm* What's that suppose to mean?!
L- Ouch! Ugh I didn't mean it like that! I didn't want you to feel obligated to do that because I told you I love you.
K- Ooooooh. I'm so sorry. *rubs his arms where she punched*
L- Geez. I hope I never make you really mad.
K- I did not hit you that hard.
L- My arm is going to fall off.
K- Larry really?!
L- Unless...I get a kiss. *puckers his lips*
K- You're such a child. *kisses him*
L- So you wanna watch another movie or something?
K- No.
L- Well what you wanna do?
K- I wanna lay on you and talk.
L- Ok.
K- You're going to have to get undressed.
L- Why?
K- I'll wrinkle your nice clothes more.
L- So?
K- Stop being a baby and take them off. *giggles* You've gotten to see me in underwear and a tank all night.
L- Fine but close your eyes perv.
K- I'm the perv?! *falls over laughing*
L- You just trying to get me out of my clothes.

Larry strips down to his boxers and under shirt. He instructs Kina to keep her eyes closed and stand up. She does so with a pout. Larry lays on the couch and covers himself with the blanket before telling her to open her eyes.

K- Are you serious? *holds her stomach laughing* You act like I won't see eventually.
L- Hey. No dirty talk.
K- Ugh you kill me. Can I lay down now?
L- Yes, but on top of the cover.
K- It's cold in here.
L- No, it's not.
K- I'm getting under the blanket. Please don't make this weird.

Kina lifts the blanket up just enough to get under and gets comfortable laying on Larry's chest..

K- See. Perfectly innocent.
L- Fine. I'll be nice now, but only because you smell really nice.

They stayed like this for the rest of the night. They talked until they got sleepy. When Kina began drifting off, Larry wrapped his arms around her body and nodded off himself.

A/N: So how did I do? Be honest. Sound off in the comments and as always vote! Until next time!😘