He Heals Me

Chapter 6: Session 3 Continued

K- I have nightmares about my father.

Author POV
Kina's voice was soft and barely audible. Larry almost didn't hear what she had said. His heart ached at the sight before him. The Kina he saw the night before was gone and the Kina before him now...she was different. She had shrank away into a dark place. Her eyes glazed over as if she wasn't really here right now, looking at nothing in particular.

L- What happens in those nightmares Kina?
K- He kills my stepmom and shoots her mother. Then he shoots himself...right in front of me.
L- Did this ever happen in real life? Is that how he died?
K- Yes and no.

Larry's eyebrows scrunched together as he thought over what Kina had just said. To think she had held on to this for all this time. He looked to see if she would continue on her own but when she didn't, he pressed further.

L- Could you explain it to me?
K- I was overseas stationed in Germany when it happened. I remember going to lunch with friends and since I wasn't driving I was on the phone surfing Facebook. A post from a news station back home with my father's picture on it caught my eye. I opened the story and read about how he had shot his wife and her mother who had just pulled up in the car outside of their home. My three younger siblings were inside the house. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Kina began to cry. The deep rooted pain that came from this memory bubbled to the surface and consumed her like it always did. Nevertheless, through her tears she began to speak again.

K- I called my mother immediately to ask her if this was true. She told me that it was and the police were looking for him. I didn't really know what to feel at that point but I had a desire to call him. I asked her for his number. I hadn't talked to him in over a year. After receiving his number, I called him over and over again. It didn't take long to realize he wasn't going to answer. I can't say I was surprised. I had a German cell phone number and he never answers for numbers he doesn't recognize. The next day, my mother called me to say that he was dead. He shot himself in the head while sitting in his car right outside of town at Wright-Putnam Lake. My mom had the hospital send a Red Cross message to my unit so they would allow me to fly home for the funeral. I flew home but I couldn't bring myself to attend the funeral. My other siblings on his side never really forgave me for that. I don't think I'll ever regret anything more in my life.

Larry POV
By this point, I had tears slowly and silently roiling down my cheeks. I could never even begin to imagine the pain that I saw in her eyes right now. Guilt, sorrow, hopelessness and self-loathing were written across her face in red ink. I honestly have never witnessed a sight more gut wrenching. I cleared my throat and attempted to do the job I was here to do.

L- How old were you when this happened?
K- I was 22.
L- So for the last 5 years, you've held onto that regret?
K- Amongst over things, yes.
L- Explain, if you don't mind.
K- I felt like if we had got him some help, this wouldn't have happened and he'd still be here. This isn't the first time he's done horrible things like this. He used to beat my mother and all his other women for that matter. My mom has a long scar on her thigh where he stabbed her. I held onto some of that resentment as well. I felt like maybe if he was gone, he couldn't hurt anyone else. Loving him was never an easy task. I wanted to hate him for all these thing but he was never cruel to me. He never hurt me. I was his golden child. A fact he often voiced to my siblings while he was drunk. He sold cocaine. Every now and then he would beat up a junkie when I was around. I hated seeing that side of him. That side wasn't my father.
L- I see...would you let me try something with you?
K- Like what?
L- Close your eyes.

Still Larry POV

At this point, I was improvising. What Dr. Lynn had written on the clipboard just wouldn't do for this session. I scooted my chair close enough to her so that our knees were almost touching. I grabbed ahold of both of her hands.

L- Now, I want you to imagine that I am your father, here in front of you right now. I want you to tell him anything that you wished you had said.
K- *sniffles* but there's just so much.
L- Try to focus your thoughts. What you really want to say. Even if you can't say it out loud. Think those things. Say it in your mind. Let me know when your done.

For the next ten minutes, I watched the wall around Kina crumble to the ground. As she spoke to her father in her mind, her tears flowed at a relentless speed and her body shook violently. From time to time, she squeezed my hands a little to steady herself. I returned the squeeze and rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand. I was taken by surprise when she let go of my hands and wrapped her arms around my neck. She whispered 'I'm so sorry for not being there.' Then the words ' I love you dad.' I rubbed her back not really knowing what else to do. After a couple more minutes of silence, she let me go and sat back opening her eyes. I stared back at her and saw the corners of her mouth turn up a little. I smiled at that.

Dr. Lynn came over the speaker to tell us that the session is over for today. I looked to the window to see she had already pulled the shade closed. I scooted my chair back from Kina and pulled her up into a hug before letting her walk away. I called after her.

L- I'll see you tomorrow.

She turned around and smiles at me through the tears that brimmed her eyelashes and said...

K- You bet.

A/N: I know it's been a while but after reading the last update of 'Burn' by @naryuki I was feeling inspired!!! Hope you guys like it! Vote and comment to let me know what you think.