Desperate || Harry Styles Sugar Daddy Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Three

The awkwardness of 'sleeping' with Harry lingered the entire time he was wrapped up in my bed. I couldn't say a word to him because I felt ashamed of myself.

I didn't even want to call him because I felt embarrassed.

It was typical that as soon as we were on good terms something like this would happen between us. Everything seemed to be pushing us away from each other. Maybe we weren't supposed to work in the end...

I hadn't confessed to Ally about losing my virginity yet. I had no idea what to say. I was still trying to get my own mind around it. Harry had texted me these past two days, reassuring me that he understood and I had nothing that I should be worrying about.

I told him I'm fine, but we both knew better.

I click send on the text, yet again telling Harry that I was over it just as Ally walked in.

"Hey stranger," she greets and I smile weakly at the girl. "What's up with you?" She wonders and I shrug. "Did Harry... did he end things?" She asks and I shake my head.

Ally had come home asking how my talk with Harry went but I kept it vague, telling her it was 'fine' or 'okay' with the occasional 'nothing to worry about'. Of course Ally didn't take that easily, wanting more details but I don't know if I could share them.

"No, we... I don't know. We're okay I think," I try to explain.

When Harry came over to discuss what had been happening between us, we never really sorted anything out. All we did was say sorry which lead to more...

"What happened? You're acting really... off."

"Ah," I start thinking about whether or not I should talk to Ally about what happened. Maybe she could help?

I think my words over before speaking. "Harry and I had sex, but then... I stopped." I decide to be straight and not beat around the bush. There was no easy way to explain what happened.

"What?" Al asks, gobsmacked by the confession.

"Well he came over and one thing lead to another. We started but I couldn't do it. It hurt so much so I told him to stop." She nods, processing the new information.

"What'd he do? Did he get angry?" I shake my head telling her how he comforted me, how he held me. She was confused, but then again, so was I. I thought he would have snapped at me, not be gentle and caring. It was very rare Harry was ever like that. He was angry and short tempered.

"I just, I don't wanna talk to him because I'm embarrassed. I don't know what to say to him,"

"By the sounds of it, Lee, he's fine. It's all in your head. Just text him, go see him." I nod, agreeing with her.

I decide to message Harry before dressing myself and going over to his place.

* * *

I stare at the beautiful sculpted door, the images of what happened last time I was standing in this playing over in my mind.

This was longest I had gone without thinking about sleeping with Harry, now that I was distracted by other memories.

Just as I go to knock on the door it swings open, a shirtless Harry occupying the doorway.  "Hey," I say, eyes drifting over his chiseled body. Even in grey, baggy sweats and his hair messed up he looked sexy.

"Hey, love," he says as he steps out of the way. "How are you feeling?" He asks carefully and I shrug, eyes stuck on my fiddling fingers.

"I don't know,"

"Look," He says as he grabs my hands. He pulls me close so I look up at him. No matter how much I wanted to look away, his sparkling green eyes wouldn't let me. "What happened... it'll happen. But it's okay. I understand, baby. You don't have to be embarrassed. It just means your super tight," he claims with a wink. I blush, rolling my eyes at him. Trust him to ruin a cute and comforting moment with a perverted remark.

"I know, I just feel... I don't know, like I should've gone through with it no matter what. Hell, I'm supposed to be twenty next year." I say lowering my head.

"Is that what this about?" I tilt my head to the side, not sure what he was referring to. "You upset because you're almost twenty and haven't slept with anyone?" I lower my head, not wanting to look him in the eyes.

"Kind of," I answer honestly.

"Leah, it's okay that you haven't slept with hundreds of guys. Fuck, I'm glad no one else has had you. Don't think anything bad about it. Trust me, as you get older, you'll be happy with your decision." I smile, the weight of everything going as Harry comforts me. Maybe this break was good for us.

Ever since we took that break Harry has been amazing with me, so much more comforting. I know it's only been two days, but this was definitely progression.

* * *

Harry's P.O.V

I still didn't understand why Leah thought it was such a bad thing that she hadn't slept with anyone. That was honestly something that made me want her a little more, knowing no other guy had touched her like that.

It also meant that if and when we finally do have sex, she'd be so bloody tight. Hell, I felt it the other night.

I don't know why, but seeing her in pain that night killed me. I had never cared about how any other girl felt while we had sex, but seeing the pain in her eyes made me want to stop no matter what she said.

Once again this girl was changing me and she had no idea. I honestly don't think she understood how much of an effect she really had on me.

Everything I seemed to do somehow revolves around this girl. Everything I did seemed to remind me of her in some way. Every time I went to sleep I thought of her and wanting to cuddle up to her.

Every night I dreamt of calling her mine.

* * *

Boring, I know. But I'm introducing a new character next chapter. Guess who it is??? ;)

Also, I felt a little awkward writing those comments from Harry... I don't know...

Thanks, xx

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