On the Road- Awsten Knight Waterparks

Chapter Forty

Isla's POV:

It was almost 5pm when we got back up to the farm. The walk back up was a little awkward after my 'I'm horny when will you fuck me' blurt out. Maybe he doesn't want me like that. Maybe he is dating me for pity and he seriously doesn't even find me remotely attractive.

I sighed as we went back up to the main house and sat on the super comfy sofa in front of the tv. We were watching the little mermaid and cuddling.

Willow was in the kitchen making some form of ratatouille and Alaric must be upstairs with his girlfriend, Becky.

"Buttercup?" Awsten said quietly.

"Mmhm." I turned my attention to him.

"I'm really scared I'm going to hurt you." He looked down at his lap.

"What do you mean?" I was getting worried. Is he about to break up with me?

"What if we start having sex and I remind you of your uncle or ex or Evan? What if it brings back too many memories and you hate me?" He sounded so small.

"Oh, Awsten. You will never remind me of them. And I will never hate you. If it gets to a point where I feel uncomfortable, I'll tell you. And if it gets to a point where you're uncomfortable, tell me. I feel safe around you; I trust you." I placed my hand in his and squeezed it.

"I'm just so scared that I'll lose you." I saw tears stemming from his eyes.

"I'm scared that I'm going to lose you." I replied.

"I feel so helpless. I want to help you get better but I don't know how. And what if taking the next step only makes you feel worse?" He quickly wiped his eyes on his hoodie sleeve.

"You help me so much by just being there for me. I don't see how sharing a part of me that I haven't been able to properly share with anyone I trust and love will make me feel shit. I'm ready." I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Promise me that when we do get to taking that step, that you'll tell me if you want to stop or change something. I want you to be okay." I smiled at how genuinely kind he is.

"I promise." He turned and placed a kiss on my lips and we continued to watch the tv.

My mum, Rachel, walked through the door a couple of minutes later.

"Hi, gorgeous." She walked towards us and I stood up to give her a cuddle. "I've missed you. You've barely been around since you've gotten home."

"I know, I've missed you too, mum." I smiled and pulled away. "This is my boyfriend, Awsten. Awsten, this is my other mum, Rachel." I introduced them, mum gave Awsten a hug and they had their pleasantries.

"Guys, tea's ready!" Willow shouted from the kitchen.

"I'm just going to wash my hands. Where's the bathroom?" Awsten asked me.

"There's one down the hall and on your right." I replied and went to help set the table. I washed my hands in the kitchen sink and poured everyone a glass of water. Alaric and Becky came down into the dining room.

"Hey guys!" I smiled and gave them both a quick hug.

"Isla, I love your hair." Becky complimented me and I thanked her.

"How's my little brother been treating his beautiful girlfriend?" I asked her. Rebecca was so beautiful. She had silver hair, always had amazing makeup and super cute gothic outfits. Her and my brother suited each other so much. Alaric was wearing ripped skinny black jeans, a striped t-shirt, a black blazer and had smudged some red and black around his eyes. He had also spiked up his dyed black hair. Honestly, I wish I was as cool as they are at 17.