Bucky Barnes imagines

One Day

A/N: I know that a lot of my imagines so far have been just angsty and sad, but I promise that I'll add a few fluff ones soon. This one means a lot to me, because my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer two years ago (thankfully recovered), and my grandfather passed away from brain cancer when I was six. Although the type of cancer is different in the story, I like to think that this was definitely part of my inspiration in the writing process. Anyway...

WARNING: Angst, character death, lots of sadness, etc.

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Y/N's POV

I lay in my bed with my covers pulled up to my chin, my sore eyes open and staring up at the door, which I hoped with all my heart would open and allow my boyfriend of a year in to join me in bed. Bucky was in Russia with Steve and a few of the other Avengers on a mission, and I had been miserable since he left. Our parting words to each other were bitter. They were all I could hear in my mind, and I couldn't help the regret inside me for our argument that I had started.

"Why do you have to go?" I ask bitterly, as I watch him start to to pack his bag for his mission. "Why can't you sit this one out?"

"Because it's my job, Y/N!" Bucky sighed, irritated. "I can protect myself just fine."

"What if HYDRA gets you again?" I asked, trying to ignore the lump in my throat. "What if-"

"I am strong, Y/N!" His voice raised in volume, and I immediately fell silent. " I was the fucking Winter Soldier! I can take care of my damn self!"

"Buck..." My eyes began to swim with tears. "There's something you need to know." There was something I had to tell him, something that needed to be said before he left. But he did not give me the chance.

"Whatever you need to say can wait till after the mission" Bucky stood and grabbed his bag. He walked towards the door, and stopped for a moment before looking over his shoulder. "I'll see you after we get back, Y/N. Stay safe."

That was the last time I had seen him or heard from him since he left three weeks ago. The mission was only supposed to take a week, two tops, but things had gotten more complicated.

And things at the Tower had as well. The words that I did not get to tell him was that I had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I knew the moment that the doctors told me, both in the tone of voice they used and the sympathy in their eyes that I did not have much time left to live. They had said it had been impacting my body for the last eight months, unnoticed. I had received my diagnosis three days before Bucky had left, and I had wanted to have as much time with him as I could before... I was gone. I didn't know how I was going to tell him.The last thing I wanted to do was break his heart. But it would eventually. One way or another...

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3 DAYS LATER...

I couldn't get out of bed. I could feel myself slowly dying, as my appetite began to decrease and my weight beginning to drop. Natasha and Wanda were worried, and were constantly trying to get me out of bed and to get me to eat. I refused. Nothing could save me now.

One night as I was falling asleep, I could hear Nat on the phone. "Steve, Y/N is not doing well. She is refusing to eat, and is losing weight faster than what I thought was possible, even with exercise. How many more days until you guys return?"

"I don't know. We're getting closer to reaching our target but I don't have an estimate. Get her to the infirmary." I could hear the concern in Steve's voice through the phone.

"Where's Bucky? Maybe he can talk some sense into her."

"He's busy, at the moment."

"Rogers. His girlfriend is not doing so hot right now, if you may not have noticed. Get him on the fucking phone."