Bucky Barnes imagines

Perfect

A/N: I actually REALLY liked writing this one. I relate to it in some ways. I struggle a bit with insecurity and self image, so I used it as inspiration to write this. I hope you enjoy it, and for anyone else who doesn't feel they are beautiful or enough... let me just say that you ARE, and that I'm always here to talk if you need to! Enjoy!

Y/N's POV

I was not ashamed of who I was. I knew I was not model thin, or had the stunning features of someone who's on the cover of Vogue magazine. But I found value in myself. I was not worthless, or undesirable in any means.

At least, I did before I became an Avenger, and met him. Bucky Barnes.

The moment I walked in the door, his blue eyes were on me, scanning me from head to toe. I shifted slightly under his gaze, but didn't feel upset in the slightest. He was only seeing me for the first time. He just wanted to see what I looked like, right?

But the expression in his eyes morphed from one of interest to one of slight disgust, and I felt my confidence and heart plummet to the cold floors of the room we were all gathered in. I looked away quickly from him as Fury began to speak, introducing me to the Avengers, and explaining how I would be contributing to the team.

I would go out on missions, just as they did. But I did not have a magic hammer or super soldier serum. I wasn't as quick and agile, and I only went to the gym to work out at the gym once a week at best. I was not what they were expecting. But I did have something that had been deemed valuable to the team: explosives.

Yep. Out of all the things I could have possibly exceeded in, and have a passion for, it was making bombs and rigging them to blow at exactly the right time and place. Now, this was all in the bounds of the law. At least, S.H.I.E.L.D's laws. And they wanted me here, with the Avengers, for extra training before going with them on an important mission to try to get important information from a HYDRA base. So I was ready for what lay ahead of me. I was ready for whatever was thrown at me.

I was just so unprepared for how Bucky had looked at me. My confidence in myself wasn't low, so to speak, but it wasn't the highest either. I read the magazines, followed the celebrities on social media, and even tried to go on a diet.

To say the least... none of these things helped.

The magazines made me feel worse, the celebrities' perfect appearances seemed to be a reach that was way to high for me to even try to jump for, and the diets.... they didn't last a whole week.

I didn't give up.

I was so persistent that these were the right things. Maybe it was me that was wrong. Still, my confidence was low. And my wordless confrontation with Bucky made it fall even lower.

After quick introductions, I was lead to my room and I settled in. Weeks passed by in a flash, and I began training. By my luck, I had been paired with Bucky for my gym work outs.

"Well... I guess this is all I have to work with." He muttered, looking me up and down again.

"It has a name." I said, irritation leaking into my voice.

"And what is it?"

"Y/N." I mumbled, before his eyes flashed back up to my face. An arrogant smirk twisted up the corners of his lips, and anger continued to burn in my belly as he began to speak.

"Alright. Let's see what you got, Ms. Y/N. "

The weeks that followed were exhausting and hard. He had me running laps around the track, lifting weights that were way heavier than any of the ones that I had used in my occasional visits to the gym, and doing crunches and push ups until my arms were sore and my abs ached.

It was too much, and I felt like giving up. I wanted to give up.

I was kneeling on the mat in the gym panting after a particularly harsh set of push ups, crunches, and burpies when he walked up behind me. The gym was empty besides the two of us.

"Oh? You're done? Come on. You still have five more sets to go."

"Give me a break, Barnes." I winced as a wave of nausea rolled over me, and I tried my hardest not to barf all over the place.

"You think HYDRA's going to let you take a fucking break in the middle of a battle?" Bucky was pissed, and I looked up to see him standing in front of me. "I get that you're not as motivated to keep your lazy ass in shape as the rest of us, but I'm not risking you dying out in the field because you can't keep up!"

"I can't, Bucky!" I screamed, as he pulled the final straw, and stood up so I was face to face with him. "I know I'm lazy, and I know I'm fat. I'm know I'm not as 'motivated' as everyone else, and I know I'm slow. But Jesus Christ, Bucky, I can't do this!"

Angry tears began to roll down my cheeks, and his eyes softened as he began to open his mouth to speak.

"No, you be quiet, and let me speak." I snapped, and his mouth fell shut again. "I have been teased all of my life about how I'm not as perfect as the world wants me to be. Stick thin, but athletic. Perfect to the eye, with make up and all of that shit that the men want. But that's not me. I tried so many damn times to be that girl. But it's not me. I won't be Natasha or Wanda, or any of the other pefect agents that are with SHIELD. So you might as well get that through your thick skull."

I gave him one last sharp look before I turned to leave, my feet moving me quickly towards the door. A hand grabbed my wrist, and I gasped as I was spun round and gently pushed against the wall. Bucky's face was lingering inches from mine and I gulped as he looked at me.

"You're not fat." He said quietly, as our eyes stayed locked. "And you're not lazy. I know you're trying your best, and I'm sorry. I'm only worried."

"That your mission won't be a success?" I sniffed, as I felt more tears brimming in my eyes. "That I'll ruin it for you by not being quick enough? Strong enough?"

"No!" Bucky said strongly, and I looked away. "Y/N, I'm worried that you'll get hurt. I care about you more than I had originally been willing to admit, and I tried to hide my feelings by pushing you harder and-"

"Y-You like me?" I stuttered, as I looked up at him again, slightly startled at his words. He chuckled quietly, a red blush filling up his cheeks, as he used one of his hands to scratch the back of his neck.

"Um... yeah."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"You're too perfect." Bucky smiled, as he tucked a lose strand of my hair from my pony tail behind my ear. "A guy like me doesn't deserve a girl like you."

"That's some of the biggest BS I've ever heard right there, Mr. Barnes. If anything... it's the other way around." I rolled my eyes but blushed at his gesture.

"I'm going to stop you right there." He shook his head, and leaned in closer. I gulped slightly as he nose brushed against mine. "You. Are. Perfect. And you deserve the world, doll. Trust me."

"Well..." I whispered, as I glance down at his lips before continuing. "You are the world. So I guess that makes this perfect."

"I suppose you're right." His lips brushed against mine softly, and I smiled before I kissed him back gently.

For the first time in my life... I felt beautiful. I felt perfect. And that's all that mattered in this moment.