We'd be good to each other (Josh Ramsay/Marianas Trench fanfiction)

Chapter 21

*Josh's pov*

Hannah had left the room and went down to my family. I hoped she went and talked to Sara or my parents. I wouldn't want her to get more uncomfortable in one day. Her anxiety had ruined this evening more than it should've. It's all my fault but everything that had happened was something Brennen and I needed to do. We had a background we needed to erase. 

"Oh god, man..." I scratched my neck. "She really got sad huh?" I said.

"Yeah, she did..." Brennen looked at me.

"Thank you for playing along, Brennen. I needed to show her that I was mad at you and didn't really know you," I said.

"No problem, Josh but Benjamin? You could've come up with something better," Brennen said.

"I needed to act mad, okay! You're the best, honestly thank you," I said.

"I'm just wondering why it was so important for you that Hannah knew you didn't like me. I know that's not true. I know you like me. How will we ever be together in the same way when Hannah is around?" Brennen asked.

"I know it's difficult, Bren but I had to... I love her more than I did with you. I'm sorry," I said.

"It's unfair because I love you still," Brennen said.

"Aw B..." I caressed his hair. "You'll find the one for you eventually," I said.

"The only problem is I thought that was you," Brennen said.

"Bren, I'm sorry... I was only curious back then. I didn't know you got feelings for me," I said.

"Can I at least have a final hug or something?" Brennen asked.

"Of course," I told him.

Brennen almost ran into my arms. He was a little smaller than me but he could still easily place his chin on my shoulder. I could smell his perfume and it reminded me of the night we kissed. It was a good night, I had nothing bad to say about it. It was just now I had a girlfriend and I loved her more than anything. Then I felt Brennen's hands had made their way up in my hair. I looked at him and out of nowhere Brennen started kissing me. I felt wrong but at the same time, it felt right. Brennen was a great kisser, omg he was incredible... It was wrong though. I couldn't cheat on Hannah. She didn't deserve this and especially not after everything I made her go through. 

"Bren... We can't..." I said in between his kisses. 

"She's not here Josh... Please..." Brennen begged. 

"Brennen, no. Stop yourself, you know I don't have the same feelings for you. I would only be doing it for the physical part. I don't love you anymore," I said.

"I don't mind," He said.

"I can't do this to her," I said.

I brushed his cheek and let him hold around me. I felt horrible for doing this to him but Hannah meant more to me. I couldn't cheat on her just to pleasure Brennen... And myself for that matter. I knew I would enjoy it, that's what I did last time. I had to stop us though. 

"Brennen?" He let go of his hold around me. "We should head downstairs," I said.

"Okay, Josh..." Brennen said and let his hand brushed over my hip. 

"I'm sorry to say this... But please stop touching me," I said.

"Yes, Josh... I'm sorry," He said.

"It's okay..." I said and walked downstairs.

Brennen didn't follow me. To be honest I was glad he didn't. He needed to calm down a bit before talking with everybody again. I made my way to the other guests at the tables and I found Hannah by my parents. They were laughing and smiling so that made me happy. I snuck up behind her and gave her a hug by gently swinging my arms around her neck. Hannah grabbed my hand and pulled me down in the seat next to her.