We'd be good to each other (Josh Ramsay/Marianas Trench fanfiction)

Chapter 26

Another day, another checkup. The doctors wanted to know how we were doing both physically and mentally while being off drugs. I hated talking about it because I felt terrible, in both ways. The doctor himself wasn't bad at all, a great man honestly. I felt comfortable with him and I had no problem talking with him. It was just the subject that annoyed me. Anyway, I had my "appointment" today. There was about twenty other who also were waiting to be checked. There were a list and a time but I guess some people didn't notice because they were too caught up in their crave. I understood them though. I was in here for one of the worst ones. My heroin addiction was way worse than someone who example was in for smoking, in like just cigarettes. That's bad enough though but I guess I was into stronger stuff, something that could get my mind off all the things that were fucked up in my life. I didn't need heroin anymore, I had Hannah. I was happy. At least when she was around...

"Joshua Ramsay?" My name got called up. 

I got up from my seat and walked into a little office. There were bright lights, kind of, and it was a pretty white room. The doctor was sitting in his chair, looking through my papers. He always did that, I didn't understand why because I had been here like five times. Once he was done reading he looked up at me. He always looked shocked, I didn't know if it was because of my height or my age or something completely different. He asked me to take a seat and so I did. 

"So Mr. Ramsay, you're in here because of your addiction to heroin and I can see that you have been clean for four weeks now... That's good," The doctor said.

"Yeah... How long do I need to be here still?" I always asked this. 

"You know you're signed up for two months and that is because you're in here for some pretty bad stuff. I still can't say when you'll be out because we usually let the period of each individual person run out before making a decision," He told me. 

"I know that. You said the exact same thing the last time we talked but I personally think I'm doing much better than last week and I would say my craving is so low I barely think about it. I have a girl back home who'll make sure I don't relapse," I said.

"Josh, I'm being honest now but still professional. I can see you're getting better, you don't twitch or clench your fist, which is some signs of the craving, but there's something else I'm worried about..." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"Your weight. In our first two appointments, your weight was very healthy for your height. You are a tall young man and therefore your height should be in the reach of 155 - 198 pounds for your BMI to be normal. Though as the weeks have gone I see a change in your weight, it's dropping too much. It's almost down in what's defined as underweight. I want to keep you until your BMI is more normal. You can leave the center once your weight is alright too," He said.

"Uhm... Okay," I didn't know what to say to that. 

"Grab an apple on your way, Josh. I'll see you at the dinner table as well... Oh and Josh? Please send the next in," The doctor said and then I left the room. 

I grabbed the apple like I was told but threw in the trash once I had called for the next "Patient". I was starting to feel fat and I couldn't believe what the doctor told me. I thought I finally was looking better. I had only cut out lunch and most of the dinner while being in here and I could see the progress every time I went to take a shower. I was feeling better with myself and that's what was important right? I walked around the corner in the hallways.

"Joshy boy, how are you doing?" I knew the voice.

"Get away from me, Andrew," My voice was low but hard.

"Easy there... We're pals remember?" He padded my shoulder

"We never were," I said and tried to walk away.

"Let's go to my room real quick," He grabbed my arm.

I knew the grip. It was impossible to get out off. I could feel and see he had been working out since last time I went to get a shot at his place. Andrew's room was, luckily, in the other part of the halls. I had seen him around the center but I didn't dare walk up to him. I wanted to, I wanted to kill him after what he did to Hannah but I knew that would only end up in me being in here longer. I had to stay strong now. He closed the door as we entered his room. He pushed me to the bed. I felt vulnerable when I saw him standing over me. I only had my height on my side and he knew that. Probably why he threw me down. 

"So Josh... Since your whore was fighting against and was being a bitch, why don't we have some fun. I've seen how you admire my me. I know you can't resist me or maybe you're just too afraid to do anything," Andrew said and slapped my cheek. 

"Fuck you, Andrew!" I said.

"Even begging now... Let's see what ugly, pale body you have Joshua," He said and pulled off my long sleeve so it ripped. I was furious because it was one of my favorites. It one of those I wore I first started talking with Hannah. I kept silence though, I knew I couldn't do anything. I just had to wait it out or at least wait long enough for someone to come looking for me. We had to be in our rooms unless it was time to eat or we had an outside hour. I knew Andrew wasn't going to abuse me sexually because he wasn't interested in men. He was hitting me though, I tried to keep as quiet as I could. If I tried to call for help, he would just hit me harder and it was hurting enough as it was. I think 10 minutes went by before someone walked past the door and heard the smacking. Guards came running and got me out quickly. I screamed after Andrew, said he could burn in hell. They brought me to the nursery. I don't remember what they did with me, I think I must have passed out because the next thing I can remember is laying in my bed in my own room. A plate with food was on my bedside table and there was a note that said.

'Josh, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you and I hope you're doing okay once you wake up again. Please grab a little eat, it will help... I promise.
- Chris, your doc.'

That was sweet of him but I wasn't hungry. Then I remembered what he said about my weight and once I gained some weight I could go home. I wanted to go home so badly. I couldn't wait to hold around my girl again and kiss her like crazy. I grabbed a few bites and swallowed. It felt weird to suddenly eat dinner again. I was full and then I realized how sore my face and chest felt. He must have got me pretty good. I couldn't remember how hard he had hit me but I could definitely feel it now. I laid down in my bed again and fell asleep, it was dark outside anyway.