We'd be good to each other (Josh Ramsay/Marianas Trench fanfiction)

Chapter 40

*Hannah's Pov*

"You're the one I want..." I sang while I cried.

I was watching grease to try and think of something else other than Josh. I haven't seen sunlight since he broke up with me. I didn't want to see the world without him being my world. I still didn't understand why he broke up with me. He was my light and my happiness. He was my drug, I was... I am addicted to him. It wasn't bad though, it was like being addicted to exercising but keeping a healthy diet at the same time. I had forgiven him for his mistake. I knew he meant nothing with it because he told me he loved me. He loves me still. This is what sucks most because we love each other but he doesn't think he's good enough. He's way more perfect than I could ever describe anyone. He is the one for me. 

"Hannah, honey? Matt is here to see you," Mom called from down the hallway. 

What was Matt doing here? I got up from my bed and slipped on some actual clothes. I had been hiding the break-up from my family because I didn't want them to feel bad for me. I also didn't want to see Phil with a happy face because Josh was no longer with me. That would hurt way too much. Matt came into my room after he knocked. 

"Hey, Hannah..." He said ever so sweetly.

"Hi, Matt. What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to check on you... Josh just told me half an hour," He said.

I started crying again. Matt just took me into his arms. I really needed that because I hadn't talked to anyone about it or had any to cry with. He hushed me and held me. 

"He's such a douche. I can't believe him..." Matt told me.

"Matt, I just don't understand..." I said and caught my breath. "He still loves me, I know he does. He told me that... I love him, Matt. I love him so much," I rambled.

"I know... I know. It hurts and it will for a while," Matt said.

"It's unfair. I know he was the one," I said.

"It's okay... Do you want to hang out with me today?" Matt asked.

"I don't know," I said.

"Let's watch a movie... If you go with me to the cinema then I'll give," He said.

"I don't want to leave the house," I said.

"It would probably be good for you, Hannah..." Matt said.

"Matt I don't want to risk seeing Josh!" I said.

"Okay okay. Then let's stay like this," He said.

Matt was with me for the rest of the day. We watched movies and he held me. I think he thought more of it than I did. I just needed the comfort, Matt still liked me. I would rather be held by Josh and kiss him. I hadn't kissed him since the day before prom. I missed his touch like hell. I was in hell when he wasn't in my life. I felt like shit without him. 

*Josh's Pov*

"One more for me as well!" I yelled at the bartender.

I was crazy drunk. The money that was supposed to go to food for today was spent on drinks. I had also sold one of my guitars so I could earn some money for that cool apartment. I thought it was worth it and I knew I could always just buy a new guitar once I had become huge in the music industry. It was around 1:45 in the morning and I thought it would be a good idea to head home but I got caught up by talking with some girl I didn't even the name of. She was tall and beautiful. She was standing in front of me, more or so between my legs. Her arms around my neck at times. She was very alluring but I couldn't get myself to kiss her. I didn't love her. I couldn't kiss someone I didn't love. 

"You're so handsome..." She said and ran her hand up my thigh. 

I didn't speak to her. I was even too drunk to hold around her. I was nothing exciting in this state but she seemed to enjoy herself. I took a sip of my drink. It was pretty jazzy but I couldn't feel it anymore. I was long gone. 

"Can I taste it?" She asked and came dangerously close to my dickular area with her hand. 

I handed her my drink. I didn't realize she wanted something else. Like I said, I was so far gone. I didn't know what was happening around me. I stood up and walked out of the bar after she took my drink. I wasn't focused and stumbled around outside until I managed to fall over. I rolled down close to the water at English Bay. It was a clear night and I could look at the moon. What a nice place to fall asleep. I can't remember what happened next but I woke up to nurses all over me. Did I end up at a themed strip club?