Sidemen//Oneshots

Simon x Dead!Josh

LARGE TRIGGER WARNiNGSSSSS PLZ BE CAREFUL MY KIDDOS

I'm not suicidal, I dont wanna fucking die, just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright but everyday I feel like dying, everyday I feel like dying~

 Simon sat on the floor, staring through the cracks of his separated fingers covering his features. His heart tightened, throat burning and stomaching twisting. He felt horrible. He broke up with him by killing himself. 

Simon rocked back and forth. He was currently sat on the top of a building's roof, the roof his lover jumped off of and plumited to their death. The roof where his life ended, the roof where his light was ripped away from him. Simon started to laugh softly, his blue orbs striking through the night sky. He stood up and walked over towards the ledge of the building where he jumped off. "You were always so weak. So ,so, so weak" Simon giggled out the words, tipping forward to look over the edge. The area below was cut off by caution tape and white paint shaped like a body. Small baggies filled with random substances laid randomly, marked off. The sight was oddly welcoming, luring his body and mind closer to the same fate. The laughter subsided- "I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die but I need to be able to feel alright. Why wasn't I enough for you? Why would you leave me. Why would he leave me? He loved me, didn't he?" 

~Simon~ 

One too many thoughts ran throughout my mind, some telling me to stoop to his levels, some telling me to hate him and walk away. 

I smiled down at the ground and tipped forward more, lifting my leg up and over the ledge. I tilted my head as I continued to smile downwards. I held onto the ledge with my hands behind me, my body leaning as far as it could. Suddenly a loud crash rang out behind me as I let go. Someone ran up behind me and grabbed onto my waist, tugging me back as fast as they could. I gasped, tears flicking into the air and then off the building. The person who grabbed me hit the ground harshly, Tucking me into their chest. "Simon." They whispered, eyes peering into my own. I bit my lip and started t o sob, "I don't want to die, I just want to feel alright." Tobi whispered comforting words, holding me to his chest tightly. He was sat up now, me in between his legs as his arms were tightly wrapped around me, my legs horizontally placed over his left. He was holding me as close as he could. 

I'm not suicidal, I dont wanna fucking die, just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright but everyday I feel like dying, everyday I feel like dying~

 "I'm not suicidal, Tobi. I don't want to fucking die." Why did Josh have to leave him?

IF you are suicidal, please contact ANYONE to help yu. I understand the want/need not to but I also understand you'll be so much better off when you tell someone. 

Here are some numbers!~

Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention
PO Box 53082
RPO Rideau Centre
Ottawa, Ontario K1N 1C5

Phone: (613)702-4446
Fax: (613)209-4932

Australia

Hotline: 08 93 81 5555
Hotline: Youthline: 08 93 88 2500
Hotline: Freecall Countryline: 1800 198 313
Hotline: TTY: 08 93 82 8822

Ireland

Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)

Japan

Hotline: +81 (0) 3 5286 9090

Newzealand

Hotline: (04) 586 1048 

United kingdom

Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK - local rate)
Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 90 (ROI - local rate)
Hotline: 1850 60 90 91 (ROI minicom)

Suicidal?
1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
or
1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)
or
Text Telephone:
1-800-799-4TTY
(1-800-799-4889)

LGBTQA+ Youth
Suicide Hotline:
1-866-4-U-TREVOR

I love you all so fucking much. I wish I could take any pain you may have so you can live your fullest life. PLEASE feel free to message me if you NEED OR WANT ANYONE.