Barely Alive - Josh Washington x Reader

Chapter 37 (Smut)

The feeling of kissing Josh was one that nothing could ever compare to. The hesitancy you felt with everything he did was as if Josh had turned into a whole other person.

You had heard about Josh from Chris. Of course he would tell you about his best friend, but you remembered imagining a cheeky, overly confident guy who loved to pull pranks and overall just enjoyed life how it came. He could adjust to basically any situation, and he was confirmed to be the best person to have at parties by not only his classmates, but even some teachers as well.

He had always been a trickster and just loved to make people laugh, which sometimes could be a positive thing, but knowing Josh, he could have been a bully as well. You had never heard that he was, so you figured that was less likely.

But all these facts about Josh, about his personality and his view about everything around him, seemed to have vanished as he kissed you with an insecurity you didn't even know existed. 

His hands trembled against your sides, and every time you tried to deepen the kiss, he would refuse to confront you with the tear in his cheek. He wanted this, he truly did, but the thought of doing it with someone he cared about in a body like this was holding him back.

"Josh, relax." You mumbled against his lips, before tracing them down his jawline and gently nibbling at the skin. There was a visible shiver running up his spine at the feeling of your lips trailing down his throat, but the more he tried to enjoy it, the more his thoughts held him back.

"I'll try, but-" 

You shushed him, you didn't need an explanation from him. You understood his situation, you even remembered more of what happened than he did, but you could never understand the feeling of living in a body that wasn't yours. Something you have lived with all your life suddenly out of your control, while not even being aware of it.

"It's okay, if you really don't want to we can stop at any time...but I want you to know that I still care about you and I like you just the way you are, teeth and all!"

Josh couldn't help but chuckle at your beaming expression, and there was something about the honesty you radiated that gave him just enough security to not be afraid to offer himself to you.

"Thank you, Y/n." He said, taking a step closer to you and connecting your lips once more. This time there was more passion involved, a sensation of need exposed to one another as Josh guided you to the bed and gently pushed your back against the mattress.

He hovered above you, positioning his waist between your legs while keeping his lips connected to yours. Heat rose to dust the colors of your cheeks pink, and having Josh slowly push himself against you wasn't helping with the growing arousal.

Josh began to leave a trail of kisses down your neck, hands roaming up your waist and keeping you steady as his hips ground into yours. The fabric that separated the both of you created a friction that had you gasping, and you whimpered for him to continue.

But the amount of clothing was really getting in the way, and Josh was eager to see you completely bare. The feeling of his fingertips felt like silk as he pushed your shirt up and over your chest, and with some fumbling you tossed it to the side while Josh eyed your figure with loving eyes.

"You're beautiful..."

"And it's only half!" 

Josh laughed, head dropping onto your stomach while his shoulder shook at the gesture. You took the chance to peel his shirt off with a cheeky grin, and as his head shot up at the cold air hitting his skin, he couldn't help but smile once more at the smirk that tugged at your lips.