Dark Angel (Completed)

You Will Not Cry

*A/N*

This part of my chapter contains self harm. If you do not like self harm, or if it triggers, please skip ahead. In the next chapter I will provide a recap of the important points in this chapter, so you can catch up on what is happening, if you do decide to skip this chapter.

Also, there is a lot of swearing, and I don't want to get hate for not giving a warning or anything.

That is all.

Thank you.

~ Angel

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I heard someone knocking on my door. I growled softly. I hate being woken up. I groaned against my pillow. Why can't the world just go away. I was having a very great dream about Andy Biersack.

I groaned and I sat up quickly. I threw my pillow at the door. "Go away!" I said, annoyed.

"Iz! Unless you want to starve, open this damn door!" Ben said even more annoyed.

"Don't get your panties in a damn twist!" I said angrily. Almost no one talked to me that way. "Who in bloody hell do you think you are?!" I glared at the door.

"Stop glaring at this fucking door and open up! For once, stop thinking bout your goddamn self. People live, ya know. I seriously don't get how your father and mother deal with you! Not every fucking damn thing is about you!" He growled. "Now open this door."

I stopped thinking for a comeback. Okay, maybe I was blowing this out of proportion but did he really just say that? I looked at the door in disbelief. My feeling were way too hurt.

My lip quivered a little and I pinched myself on the arm, hard. No, you will not cry, Isabelle. You will not cry. Just to make sure, I pinched myself again. I ignored the angry red mark on my skin.

I gave a shaky breath and I stood up. I slowly walked to the door and I opened it. A very pissed off Ben stood on the other side of the door. He fake gasped. "The goddamn Princess decided to open the door herself?" His eyes widened. "Oh fuck, this means the fucking world is about to end!"

It was like a switched he been flipped. The soft Ben I thought I knew and now it was replaced by a colder and crueler version. Something must have happened while he was gone.

I was so close to crying. No one has ever said that to me. Never spoken to me that way. I thought Ben and I were on friendly terms. I guess I was wrong, way wrong. I clenched my hand into a fist and I made sure my finger nail dug into my palm. It started to hurt badly but it was okay, I would not cry.

I glared at him. "What the fuck do you want?" I said, coldly.

He sneered. "Look at the little princess swearing. You better shut that potty mouth, girly," he smirked, "wouldn't want your father to know about your foul language." He held out a brown paper bag. "Here's your fucking food. I'm surprised you eat as much as you do. Beautiful women don't eat as much as you." He looked me up and down. When he was finished scrutinizing me he sneered again. "Enjoy, Princess." He turned around sharply and he left.

I just stared there after a few more seconds. I was completely numb. I felt something warm run down my hand. I looked down and I realized that my finger nails had cut my palm. A trail of blood fell to the ground. I looked at it, numbly. I closed the door and I sat on the bed. I looked at the brown appear bag and I sighed. Maybe he was right. I should stop eating. Like I'm not exactly on the lean type. I mean, I am fit but I don't think I look that bad. I guess I was wrong.

I grabbed the bag and I threw it in the trash can. I was hungry but I guess I could eat an apple and drink water.

Iz, are you alright? I've been trying to talk to you but you've been blocking me out lately. What's wrong? He sounded worried and concerned. I scowled. It was probably just a stupid act. No one cares about me, apparently. I decided to ignore him and I laid down on my bed and I looked up at the ceiling.

What was wrong with me? I know many things are wrong with me but I never thought myself as a 'Princess'. My dad always made me fight for what I wanted. Not literally fight, but you get the drift. He told me that in order to succeed in this life, I had to fight for what I wanted. I didn't always exactly get everything I want.

I looked around in my room and I sighed deeply. I was way too hungry and I eyed the brown bag. "No, you will not eat, Iz. Absolutely not." I muttered to myself.

I looked around the room and I smiled sadly when I saw a safety pin on my desktop. I stood up and I walked over to it. I took it in my hands and I looked at it harder. I promised myself I wouldn't do this again, but it was necessary. I felt so numb. It had been a few weeks since I last felt this way. I wanted to make sure I could still feel. That I was still living.

I grabbed the pointed end and I slid it against my thigh. I winced in pain but I just nodded. This was okay, I am actually feeling something. I slid it again but this time harder. Once I was finished I had ten angry marks on my skin. I will make sure I won't wear anything that happens to show my marks. I put the pin inside my desk drawer. I looked around inside there and I half smiled. I found a rubber band and this will help me give myself pain when I couldn't actually cut myself.

I sighed and I took a deep breath. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I just felt so sad. A flashback of my past came to me in a rush and I fell to the ground. It was getting hard for me to breath and I accidentally let out a loud cry. I was having a panic attack. And I panicked even more when I realized this was my twentieth attack in a range of seven months. Was that even healthy?

I clutched my hand to my chest and I gasped for air. When I was getting none, I could feel myself getting very light headed.

"Iz!" I heard someone yell my name.

I ignored who it was and focused.

Breath Iz, breath. Count out loud with me. Stark suddenly said in my head. Count with me. 10

"10" I repeated out loud. I ignored whoever was bugging me. What I was focusing was on a Stark and on Stark only.

9

"9"

8

"8" we counted all the way to one. When I couldn't get past a number, he repeated it encouragingly. When I reached one, my breathing was controlled. I smiled slightly. Once again, Stark has saved my life and he wasn't even here.

"Iz! Fuck, are you okay?" I felt as Ben grabbed me by the shoulders and I pushed him away.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I growled.

"Wait! Are you okay? What happened?" He asked, concerned.

I scowled. "Get the fuck out of my room now!"

He heard me and he backed away. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Iz let me explain about earlier-" I cut him off.

"I don't care anymore! Fuck off will you!" I said, annoyed.

He sighed. "I will. I just have an important thing to tell you." Before I cut him off he continued and I scowled angrily. "Your father can't come for another week. He has asked me to tell you that we both are arranged to go to school in two days. We will be going to ColdWater High. That is all." He muttered. He turned around and left again.

"They always leave." I said, a little sadly.

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Okay, so now you guys have found out she's had previous experiences with selfharm. I know I made Ben act like such a douche but it's part of the plot I have for the next two chapters! I hope the self harm thing won't make you hate me :( but even if you do hate me I love you all! Sorry for the short chapter as well.

QOTC: Ben or Stark?

P.S: QOTC means Question of The Chapter :D

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