Thin Line

Chapter 4

Both of parents have off of work today.

So, both of them are aware I have yet to eat today.

And now we are leaving for my aunt's monthly family dinner.

After pulling on my sneakers, I take a quick look in the mirror.

As always I wear black leggings, and today I have chosen a light pink shirt with a small logo on the front to go with them.

"Sierra! Time to go!" My mom calls up to me.

I sigh as I exit my room.

The four of us all get into my mother's SUV.

My aunt lives just one town over, so it only takes us about twenty minutes to get there.

Upon seeing all the cars, I realize that we are the last to arrive.

By the time I greet all my cousins, aunts, uncles, along with my mother's parents, my aunt calls into the living room, telling us dinner is ready.

Hesitantly, I take my seat at the farthest side of the makeshift table, there is no table large enough for us all, so it is just three collapsible ones pushed together.

Food gets placed on the table.

My parents know I have yet to eat today.

After scanning the table, I mentally plan out my plate.

I fill most of it with salad, then add a bit of fruit, with a side of steamed vegetables.

They are the three lowest in calories of all the dishes.

The entire plate adds up to just under one hundred calories.

"Is that all you want Sierra?" My mom asks.

"Yes, I am not too hungry, and fruit is pretty filling." I tell her.

"Alright." She replies, ripping off a piece of her bread before putting it in her mouth.

Eating seems so easy for them?

How can eating be so easy for them?

How do they not struggle with every bite?

How do they not have constant guilt when they eat?

What is wrong with them?

That is so abnormal.

They should feel horrible upon ever bite they take.

Why don't they feel like I do when they eat?

I sigh before stabbing a piece of cantaloupe with my fork.

I admire the pale orange for a minute.

When I see my mother look over at me, I force the piece into my mouth, she then looks away.

Maybe, if I just eat this all, they will stop being worried.

And then I don't have to worry for the rest of the day.

By the time my plate is cleared, I feel disgusting.

I have not consumed so many calories at one time it what seems like forever.

I am way too full right now.

How did my mom just eat four hundred calories of food?

And when dessert is brought out, she gets a piece of pie and ice cream, adding another three hundred calories to her meal.

Yet, she doesn't seem to care.

It is like the numbers do not bother her.

How do they not?