Thin Line

Chapter 21

"Sierra, you have visitors." I am told by a lady who enters the room.

"More than one this time, what a surprise." Penny taunts.

"I actually do have friends, you know." I tell her.

"Who would really want to be friends with you? Look at yourself." She says to me as she looks me up and down.

"I am pretty sure more people would rather be friends with a black girl, than with someone like you." I fire back, trying to make it seem like I have friends here, even though I'm almost positive it's just my parents.

I follow the lady to the visiting room.

To my surprise, it's not my parents that are here.

Kendra, Clare, Elise, Jenna, and Abigail all sit together, taking up a bulk of the room.

When they see me they almost all start to cry.

Why must everyone visit on shorts Sunday?

"Sierra." Kendra says before getting up and hugging me, I could tell she was the closest to actually crying.

After Kendra pulls away, she returns to her seat and I sit in the oval they have formed.

"We're sorry, Sierra." Jenna tells me.

"For what?" I ask her.

What do they have to be sorry for?

I don't think they did anything wrong.

"For not noticing." Elise explains.

"You guys didn't do anything wrong." I tell her.

Nothing that happened was anything that they could have helped with.

"We could have been more observant." Abigail suggests.

They all look so sad.

And it is my fault.

"Stop feeling guilty." I demand.

"Sierra, we are supposed to be your friends, we are supposed to notice when things aren't right, we are supposed to be there for you." Clare tells me.

"I've always skipped lunch at school, I have never really eaten when we go places, how were any of you supposed to notice the changes?" I ask them.

None of them ever really saw me eat, so how were they supposed to notice something was off?

"You used to go shopping with us all the time." Elise starts. "Then you kept saying you were busy, or had family plans. We didn't think much of that when we clearly should have." She says, crying, blaming herself for where I am.

"Nothing that happened was anyone's fault except mine." I tell them.

"Sierra, we should have been there for you." Jenna admits.

"How could you all try and spot something wrong with me when I never even noticed anything was wrong." I say. "I still deny that anything is even wrong with me. When my parents dropped me off here I was angry, still convinced that I am fine, that I have no reason to be here." I admit to them.

I still question why I am even here at times. Why they are forcing me to put on weight I will then just turn around and want to lose again.

"Sierra, this is something that a person often does, deny their disorder. We should have realized that maybe you were the same outfit everyday for a reason other than the fact that you just had a trademark look. We should have realized you were getting smaller, that you were acting different. We just should have noticed." Abigail says.