don't do it please (Treebros)

Ch.9 Evan

The week after hanging out with Connor seemed fine, Connor and I were friends and things finally seemed to be going great.

Until Jared decided to join the mix. Jared had walked up to me and Connor, Jared seemed to be in a bad mood which made me worried. And instead of being a civil human being, Jared just started calling Connor some obscene names.

And as much as I wanted to stick up for Connor, I was stuck. I was planted to my spot and couldn't do anything but watch the scene fold out.

I watched Connor stomp away fuming and a hint of sadness in his step. I watched him throughout the day as he started acting more and more sad and angry.

So, I left him alone the rest of the day, I knew what all this was leading to. I knew where he was going to go after school so I followed him up the stairs to the roof.

I wasn't able to catch up to Connor initially, considering I was a little farther from the stair case and wayyyyy shorter than him. But when he got to the top I saw him.

Connor was standing on the edge of the roof, about to jump off. I gasped, calling his name. I raced towards him as fast as I could, jumping out to catch his arm before he was too far down.

When I grasped his hand I yanked him back onto the roof. Connor was shaking and big, hot tears were rolling down his face.

Connor was grabbing on to me as if his life depended on it and he was looking at my face, probably trying to see who this blurry blob is.

I gave a lighthearted smile and pulled Connor in for a hug. It felt right. Almost as if when I hugged Connor everything was okay and as it should be.

My thoughts weren't plaguing my mind and even my heart seemed to be calm down a bit. Before I knew it I heard soft snores coming from Connor.

I smiled and started to stand up, struggling to hold Connor up. Eventually, I found a comfortable and easy way to hold Connor.

I brought him down the stairs and fished in his pockets for his keys. Somehow, through this entire endeavor Connor managed to stay fast asleep. It was kind of cute to be honest.

I found his keys and got him into the passengers seat. I went over to the drivers side and sat down.

I looked over at Connor and smiled. He looked so peaceful, so... pretty. I sighed as I started the car. I was feeling things for this boy that I didn't want to be feeling.

As I was driving to my house, because I wasn't going to have Connor wake up without me there, I got lost in thought.

Do I like Connor? It seems like the most reasonable explanation for these feelings but the again... I'm not sure. Would Connor like me back? Is it possible for someone to like me and all my anxiousness?

I kept my eyes glued to the road as I felt some tears build up in my eyes. I never felt as if I could be loved. The only person I knew truly loved me was my mom, but she's always so busy working.

I didn't realize it but I felt a panic attack coming on. I kept mumbling to myself.

"Useless. God, couldn't even keep my only friend around. Am I that bad a friend? Oh, god, I suck...," I kept going on and on, hating on myself more and more as I got farther down the road.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I took a glance over at Connor, who was sitting up, his mouth agape. He was staring at me with a bewildered look on his face.