don't do it please (Treebros)

Ch.22 Connor

Self destructive. That's what I was.

Getting high right now... well, it wasn't the best idea. Now, I was here, stumbling down the street seeing colors.

I didn't know where I was going, I couldn't even see where I was going! All I knew right now was the fuzziness in my head and the colors and shapes that form all around me.

It was beautiful. There were no words to describe it. They shapes kept moving and shifting and they seemed to be forming a picture.

The colors shifted again, turning a peach and a blonde. They moved and formed a photo. It was Evan next to a tree, holding onto the trunk and smiling.

I rubbed my eyes violently.

"I swear, I'm tripping out," I mumbled to myself. It was so late at night now that I had probably walked a good mile or two in my high state.

Even if the high wire off I probably wouldn't know where I was. I rubbed my eyes again and felt exhaustion take over my body.

I stumbled and felt myself hit a wall. I groaned as I felt a small throb go through my head. I rolled my eyes to myself and continued on my trek to nowhere.

I couldn't see any of the real world. My eyes were half lidded and my heart was pounding so hard I couldn't hear anything else.

I stumbled again and decided that this would be a good place to sleep. I was tired, for God's sake.

I rolled over and when I felt myself hit the wall I fell asleep. The hum of some buildings soothes my headache enough for me to fall asleep.

I dreamt of Evan and it was peaceful. I wanted to be angry but I couldn't. Evan probably didn't kiss Zoe, I just couldn't get the scene out of my head.

I saw Zoe appear and suddenly, everything was gone. This was no dream, it was a nightmare. I screwed my eyes shut in hopes it would make Zoe go away, but nothing worked.

I saw Zoe walk up to Evan. I saw Evan smile. And I saw Zoe kiss Evan, watched Evan kiss back. I watched them make out until Zoe put a hand over my eyes.

I felt a jolt go through me. When I opened my eyes I felt anger bubble through my chest.

A dream, it was just a dream, I tried to remind myself. But it didn't work. I felt anger coursing through my veins. I felt mad.

I needed to get high. Again.

I loathed myself for it, I really did. But I couldn't stop. The high made me not feel angry, it made me feel normal. It made me feel calm.

I stood from the ground and felt an ache in my back. I ignored it as I went back to where I usually got weed.

When I got there, I took as much as I could take. I stuffed some of it in my pocket but crushed up weed was the last thing on my mind.

My throat itched. It urged me on. I gulped before taking a hit. I felt some feeling of calm float through my body, before promptly leaving again.

I repeated the process again and again until smells were sounds and colors were sights. I smiled, I felt calm.

I took off walking again, just as I had done the night before. I felt myself stumble every so often and it's a miracle a cop didn't find me.

I felt myself stumble what felt like a stair case. Only one step though. Strange.

I kept walking, sounds blocked out my the racing of my heart. I smiled again as I took more steps forward.

One sound. That's all it took for my brain to notice where I was. A loud honk! Then white.

And the feeling of warm, cold, and a tornado of emotions came through me. Eventually, all I felt was cold. And the air smelled like clean.

Sorry for no update Monday. Another update will come later, I promise.