Rebellion

Growth

Benjiro, Satoko and Shiro were waiting in the hospital. Benjiro looked worried sick, Satoko looked even worse with her pale face. Shiro was right next to her, putting an arm around her for comfort and protection. 

"Is she going to be okay?" Benjiro asked the nurse, being the only one who could find the strength to speak. 

"Yes, she is. Although, the doctor recommended for her to take pills. But he isn't quite sure about the option yet, considering the pregnancy." The nurse stated to him.

There was a silence in the room. 

... Pregnancy?

"What do you mean by that?" Benjiro questioned, his hands shaking.

"Antidepressants are sometimes harmful-"

"No. Not that. The... pregnancy." Benjiro interrupted her, looking more furious by the minute. 

He could barely even muster out that word. He swore in his head. How the hell did she get pregnant? And with who? Unless...

"She's been pregnant for a bit more than a month now. Maybe she hasn't noticed." The nurse explained.

Benjiro's eyes widened. It all made sense. The incident happened a bit more than a month. It's no wonder she didn't want to tell him. Ayase was ashamed and scared. That man... Did so much more than he could ever imagine. 

"Take care of her eating habits. She is severely underweight, which could easily effect the childbirth in the future." The nurse continued talking, seeing how the people she was talking to were quiet. 

Nobody knew how to react. All of them knew the answer, yet it looked so surreal to even be true. How could they even react to it? Naoki died yesterday, and now this? It was just too much all at once. Mustering up a reaction was too hard of a job now.

"... She'll be out in a moment..." The nurse continued, noticing the bad atmosphere.

Soon enough, they did let Ayase out. She looked horrible, her face pale and her eyes tired. Unlike most days, she wasn't barely walking. The hospital made sure to make her the healthiest they could. But they noticed they never saw her as skinny as this. It was so bad that there were bones sticking out of her body, her skin looking like it barely clung onto the bones. 

Satoko could only hug her, crying in her name. She felt so sorry for her. She didn't deserve any of it. If only she hadn't moved out, if only she hadn't babied her with Naoki... Maybe all of this would have been different. Protecting her was a complete failure. She didn't get protected, she just got hurt badly. More hurt than she ever should have been hurt. 

They led her to the car, the car that usually Naoki drove. It still reeked of vomit. Satoko was the only one who had a driver's licence. And it was all thanks to Naoki, of course. He was the one who made her do it, no matter how much she stated it was useless. Now that she thought about it, it looked more morbid. Like he knew that eventually she'd need to drive Ayase to her home. The home that was now empty. 

"I'll come visit tomorrow, I promise." Satoko promised her. 

She cursed herself. She never did quite visit the two of them enough. She never appreciated the food Naoki made her enough. She never appreciated Ayase's tips for self care enough. She couldn't do anything about it. But today she just wasn't ready for being in that house. It would hurt too much and she wouldn't help anyone that way. She'd just be an emotional wreck. An emotional wreck can't help others. 

Ayase and Benjiro were left in the house, agreeing to help her. He knew he could. He couldn't expect anything from Satoko, seeing she was hurt just as much by Naoki's death. 

Satoko drove Shiro to her house. Both of them went in the house, not saying a word. Satoko sat on the couch, while Shiro just leaned on the nearby wall, staring at her. Both of them were still silent. 

"... You couldn't have done anything, Satoko." Shiro told her.

"I could've bared it a bit more. If only-" Shiro interrupted her.

"No, stop it. It's not your responsibility to make your life a living hell for her." He tried to explain to her.

"She's my friend! I have to help!" Satoko yelled, her eyes getting teary again.

"There's a difference between help and just straight up sacrificing your happiness." He told her, getting closer.

"Maybe I could've spared Naoki's life too... And maybe I'd be the one that's preg-" 

"No. Stop it." He cut her off again, not wanting to hear her say stuff like this-

"I deserve it more than her!" Satoko yelled out, her tears finally falling.

"No, you don't deserve anything! Stop saying this! There was no help for this family! You did everything you could!" He put both of his arms on her shoulders, trying to get this into her head.

"I'm sorry, everything in my life just keeps crushing down and I'm doing a really shit job handling it..." She calmed down, sitting back on her couch. 

She got a pat on the head, which surprised her. She looked up at him as he sat next to her.

"Actually, I think you're handling it fine. You're expressing your feelings, which wasn't really the case while I first met you. You used to be very angry and stubborn. I think you're doing a much better job now." He smiled at her. 

"You... You think so?" She asked with a surprised face.

"Of course I do. So don't say so much bad stuff about yourself. You're doing something that's called 'growth'. You didn't deserve any of that. Nobody deserves it." He explained again, this time actually managing to make her feel better. 

She smiled a bit, after a lot of time. Somehow, no matter how clumsy and sometimes slow he was, there was something very intelligent about him. It's seems as if though he was miles more mature than half the people she met, yet still remained a very childlike aura around him. But he's just somehow more experienced, and all of his goof ups and silly moments makes up for his comforting words. Words that actually made sense. Words that actually made her feel better. 

She hugged him, making him stiffen. He sure enough did cool down, quicker than usual even. She smiled as she noticed him getting used to her physical affection. She was also glad that she was actually affectionate with someone. She was so glad to have him in these hard times.