Rebellion

Dead

Ayase stared at the crowd of people. Her people. The surviving members of The White Walls. Not much were left, but she was pleased. There were enough of them. Enough to carry out missions and deals. It was a good idea, she knew.

She liked how they looked up at her, how inferior they looked. She was in control. Her built was getting stronger and stronger, and her weight was finally looking good. She was getting more strong and less skinny. Her bones weren't sticking out, finally in her life they weren't. Finally she didn't look like she could be broken in half.

"I'm planning on killing off the Marikami family." Ayase announced. 

Her people looked at her in confusion. They were the town's richest family. But they haven't done anything remotely bad. She expected that reaction. They wouldn't understand anyway. Since her dad's been dead, the only one who's been paying stuff is Benjiro. She couldn't have that. 

"A-Ayase, there's no need to do that! They have children!" Benjiro protested, looking terribly panicked. 

"You will not argue with me now, or else I'll have to pull out drastic measures." She said seriously, looking at him with a serious gaze.

She didn't want to kill him off, but if he keeps doing this she'll have to. Nobody will take her seriously if she can't even kill of people who are disrespecting her. How were they gonna be scared of a girl that can't even consistently follow her own logic?

"And I don't care about the children. Kill them off too." Ayase continued mercilessly.

She saw horrified faces in the crowd. She didn't care. Nobody ever showed her mercy, so why should she ever show it to anyone else? They'd do the same to her if the opportunity was taken. They could even say this was merciful. Like anyone would adopt them? Those orphanages are living hell as told by Satoko, so why would they go there? Better to die off anyway.

She saw Satoko's face. She was obviously disapproving. Judging her. She almost looked disgusted. Ayase only avoided her gaze, looking straight up ahead, explaining the further plan. Nobody really looked okay with this, but she didn't really care. They signed up to this, it was up to them.

After the meeting was done, she walked home with Benjiro. She was trying to get her driving licence, but it wasn't going so fast since she was doing double the work. She couldn't really study while leading a gang and she didn't really have anyone to tutor her, except Satoko. She didn't really bother asking her. Hell, she didn't even call her since their fight. 

"Don't do that again, Benjiro. I don't want to hurt you." She said softly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I just don't like the idea." Benjiro answered, looking at the floor.

"You aren't stopping me." Ayase answered sternly.

Benjiro looked at her sadly. She didn't look like the girl he used to know. Her hair was short, but it grew a little bit. Her gentle facial features were replaced with more rougher ones. The bags under her eyes made her look older, before she looked much younger than she was. Her body was much more muscly and she wasn't underweight anymore. Her stomach was slightly rounded, making it obvious she was pregnant three months. 

Her looks quite fit the personality change. She would only show her sensitivity here and then. She wasn't weak and fragile, and her will for helping people disappeared. But one thing did remain though, her stubbornness. The one thing she would be better off without. 

"I know I'm not gonna stop you." He smiled, but his smile was sad.

It hit her. She felt guilty. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to go back to her old self, to let everyone else protect her. But she couldn't. The old her was dead and she didn't even want such a useless being to live ever again. She wanted to apologize, but she stopped herself. She just stayed quiet the whole walk home.

Once she got home, it was already 9 PM. She was tired but she didn't wanna go to bed. She got surprised when Benjiro spoke up.

"Dear, I think I'll go out with a couple of my friends." Benjiro smiled.

She eyed him suspiciously. He didn't go out anywhere these last two months. Was he lying? Why would he suddenly go out? Wasn't she enough? 

"What do you mean? Don't you wanna stay with me?" She questioned, stepping closer to him.

She got clingy. She loved him. She didn't want to lose him. Who else would she be with? What would she do if he left her? Who would support her? She cursed herself. She got dependent on someone again. She never really was useful, she was only good for depending on people. 

"I was taking time these two months to be with you. I wasn't really out with any of my friends, so I was thinking it would be nice to reunite." He explained, still smiling as he always did.

Ayase noticed he was careful with words. Was she that complicated to deal with that he couldn't even express himself freely? Even as a gang leader of the most feared gang of Tokyo, she was still as useless as ever. How the hell will she ever fix herself?

"Am I that much of a burden?" Ayase questioned, her voice cracking.

"No, no, no! Don't tell yourself that! Please! Look, my friends also need me, you know? I can't ignore them." He hugged her.

She hugged back, trying not to cry. 

"Okay, I understand." Ayase nodded.

Benjiro kissed her, making her feel warm just like every time he did it. He patted her head and headed to the door.

"Don't worry. Tsukamoto-Kun will come in any moment. I don't want you to be alone." 

Ayase smiled. That was thoughtful of him. But she got nervous about that. She knew it was going to be weird, but she didn't want to complain anymore than she already did. She wanted him to go out after looking after her for so long. 

"Yeah, thank you." She waved slightly.

"Goodbye, dear! I love you!" He said as he gave one last kiss and headed to the door.

"I love you too!" She yelled as he closed the door, smiling to herself.

All she had to do for now was wait for Teruo, which made her more and more nervous as time passed by.