A New Beginning (Lesbian Story)

Bandage

I woke up this morning extreamly confused. I know that I went to Farrahs yesterday and I know that I had another argument with Demi or she was shouting at me but it was something along the lines of that. The thing I'm confused about is how I got home. I remeber Farrahs and the argument but I'm not sure if the argument actually occured at her house or here. The bottom line is that I was extreamly drunk through it all and I literally can barely remember anything.

I got up and walked to the ensuite bathroom in Demi and I's room. I went to look in the mirror and thats when I noticed the blood in the sink. Great. I either bust open my stiches last night or was puking up blood. I checked my hand and there was no blood so I guess it was the puke.

I sat down on the toilet and closed my eyes while I pee'd because I'm still tired.

When I opened them I got the shock of my life. I blinked hard trying to wake myself up. I have to be dreaming. I looked down to see maybe over a dozen puffed up raw cuts on each thigh staring back at me.

"No" I shook my head. I gently touched it and the stinging let me know that they were real and I wasn't dreaming.

"You fucking idiot" I shouted at myself angry. I quickly finished up and flushed the toilet.

Next it came to the scary part. I took off my top to see that my arms had the same matching cuts as my thighs but they were much deeper and longer.

"Oh my god" I cried looking at them "Why would I do this" I whispered looking at my cut up body. I began to feel sick. I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or the cuts but I felt it and it was soon up my throat and in the toilet.

Once I finished vomiting I remained on the floor and pushed myself over against the wall.

I rested my head on my knees and stayed still while I cried. I promised myself never again. I can't believe I'd do this to myself. I can't tell anyone,they'll just send me back into rehab, I can't.

I stayed on the floor for about 20 minutes and then I finally managed to pick myself up.

I looked in the cabinet and got out the first aid kit. I jumped up onto the counter and slowly began to clean the cuts,each one more painful than the other.

After about 30 minutes I was cleaned and bandaged. I ran to my duffel bag on the floor and took out a pair of loose jeans and a hoodie. After I was dressed I sat on my bed thinking about what I should do. I'm not sure if I want to go down stairs. I know I'm in trouble.

"Elena" I heard a knock on my door "Are you awake?"

"Yeah Mad what is it?" I called back.

The door opened and Madisons head popped in "Mom said to get dressed and come down, she's taking the babies home and wants you to go with her"

"I am dressed" I sighed and walked towards the door.

I followed Madison downstairs quietly. I still can't believe I'd cut myself and now it's all I can think about.

_________

I didn't talk to mom on the way over even though she had a lot to say to me.

I unbuckled Caleb out of his car seat and let him down on the ground. He ran straight for the gates.

"Cale come on" I weakly said running after him quickly picking him up. I continued to walk  quietly as he pulled at my hair.

Wilmer and Demi arrived at the door.

Wilmer helped mom with Faith and Ruben while I walked in with Caleb.

"Stop" I sighed to him as he pulled harder on my hair