The Dance Between Darkness and Light (girlxgirl)

Emily

Alison has bus duty today so I'm currently keeping an eye on Mya for her until she's done.  She's lying down next to me on the rug, her head in my lap and she looks so tired.

"You can sleep for a few minutes, honey, I don't mind,"I calmly tell her as I move a blonde curl out of her eyes.  Her eyes are already closed but she's responding.

"I didn't go to bed last night when mommy left my woom.  I stayed up because I heard daddy come home," she explains to me. 

"Oh, and did you get to talk to him?" I ask, I'm stroking my hand along the top of her head now, it seems to be relaxing her.

"No, they were shouting at each other and mommy was cwying fo awhile," Mya tells me.  I feel a little awkward because I'm sure Ali would be embarrassed if she knew Mya told me that. 

"Did you give her a hug?" I ask next.  I can feel Mya shake her head no and she says, "No, mommy would be mad if she knew I was up."

"It's okay sweetie, sometimes adults get upset and sad," I say to her, but she never heard me, she had drifted off to sleep.  I have my lesson plans next to me so I can work through some of those while she sleeps on me, I don't have the heart to move her. 

Okay, who am I kidding, I can't work on them, not after what Mya said.  I keep thinking about Ali at home late last night crying.  Crying over an argument with Jack?  What could have happened, he just got home from a month away. I know Ali said it's been hard with him being gone so much, she's basically raising Mya all on her own.  I can't even imagine how hard it must be for her, I'm not sure I could do it. If Jack is gone next week again, Thomas and I should invite her and Mya over for Thanksgiving, I think that'd be nice.

I made a few small notes in my planner and I've just added the Thanksgiving one when I startle to a hand on my shoulder. It's Alison trying to get my attention.

"You scared me, I was a little lost in my thoughts," I apologize. I must've been really out of it because I never heard a thing. "How long have you been in here anyway?" I ask wondering if she caught me staring at nothing. My eyes tend to go vacant when I'm thinking, so I'm a little embarrassed myself.

"Maybe a few minutes? Honestly, I was kind of just watching you two.  Mya's so comfortable around you, I can't believe she just fell asleep on your lap like that," she says shocked.  I can feel my cheeks burning a bit, I don't like it when people stare, but I'm also flattered because I think that was a compliment.

"Mya's such a nice kid, I hope Thomas and I have a few just like her someday.  How'd you get so lucky?" I ask as I watch Mya still sleeping on my lap.  Ali sat down next to me so we can talk a little softer.  She's hugging her knees tightly shaking her head back and forth, "I don't know, Em, I really don't."  Now that we have had a few moments of downtime from the busy day, I am getting a good look at Ali's face.  She looks as if she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.  I rest my hand on her leg just above her knee and give it a gentle squeeze, "Hey?  You okay?'" She absently answers me, "No. I..uh...had an argument with Jack last night.  A big one. I did something. Something unforgivable." She whispered the last part and I can see she is trying to hold it in. Whatever it is, it's killing her because tears are quickly slipping down her cheeks.

"Ali? What do you mean unforgivable? It can't be that bad?" I ask in a hushed whisper. She is obviously nervous, glancing over her shoulder every minute or so toward the classroom door.

"Seriously, what happened?  Why do you keep looking at the door?" I ask both questions again more forcefully. She finally looks at me, "Jack is coming to pick up Mya. I want to tell you what happened, but I don't want him to hear me, he's very private."