The Dance Between Darkness and Light (girlxgirl)

Thomas

Emily didn't come home last night. I'm assuming she stayed at Alison's, it just would have been nice if she had texted me or called. I wanted to check on her, but we have been doing so well that I didn't want to erase the progress we've made the past few weeks.  I am worried, though, it's almost 9:00 am and we are leaving town for a wedding later this afternoon.  One of my college friends is getting married and I'm standing up in the wedding.

She finally did walk through the door around 12:00 and I was a little taken aback.   Her hair was wet and completely disheveled, mascara smudged, and those aren't her clothes.  There are huge bags under her bloodshot eyes and she looks exhausted, drained.

I can't help the look of shock on my face, this is so out of character, beyond what I've ever witnessed with her.   Don't get me wrong, I'm concerned, I mean what the hell happened to her to get her to this point?  I'm also extremely irritated because it's almost noon and we need to leave soon because the drive takes 4 hours.

"Emily? Honey, are you okay?  What... where...?"  I'm trying to put together words, but I don't even know what to ask at this point.  I walk toward her as she drops all her things in a pile on the floor and she just stands there. She's like a cast off shell of my Em, what the hell happened last night?  I can't push, it's taking everything in me not to push, so I just pull her into my body and hold her close in a tight hug.  She usually loves this, usually reciprocates and melts into me. I can feel she's leaning, but it's just a lean, her arms are at her side and I can feel her shoulders jerking as she lets out small muffled sobs.

What is going on?

"Em?" No answer. "Babe, What happened to you last night?"

In the smallest of whispers amidst her sobs I hear her tiny voice.

"I don't know if I can do this."  She's got to, the rehearsal dinner is tonight and I need to be there so we need to leave within the hour.

"You can do this, I know you can.  It's okay babe, just... go get ready, you can sleep the whole way there. I know you're exhausted, I can see it. You'll feel better after you get some rest."

She's staring up at me looking perplexed. She has this thing she does where she raises one eyebrow when she's questioning something and she's doing it to me. Normally we share driving when it's that long but I don't want her driving today.  Emily is shaking her head at me, still looking a little confused.

"Thomas, that's not..."  I cut her off, I need her to go get ready.

"Seriously, it's fine, I'll drive the whole way, you can sleep."  She's still shaking her head at me like I've misunderstood her.

"Emily, okay...seriously...what's wrong?  You're...you're a mess!"  That came out a little harsher than I wanted it to, but we are running out of time and need to leave soon.  Clearly something happened to her but hell if I know what that is.  All I know is she was with Ali all night and if I press beyond what I've just said we will end up in a shouting match. 

I watch as Emily's body language instantly changes.  Her shoulders have dropped, her face is blank and she is staring at her hands shaking her head. 

"Nothing.  Nothing happened, it's fine. I'll go get ready."  If she doesn't want to talk, I know better than to try and force it out of her.  Whatever is going on, it'll eventually come out.  I'm certain of that.

Once we are in the car, Emily reclined her seat, and fell asleep almost instantly without so much as a word to me.  In fact, she never moved the entire four hours and I had to wake her up when we got to the hotel.  I'm starting to think she didn't sleep at all last night.