The Dance Between Darkness and Light (girlxgirl)

Epilogue: Alison

August 2013

It was too hard in Rosewood. Emily and I tried, but it was just too much. It's such a small town that everywhere we went we felt like people were whispering about us.

And they were.

I shouldn't be shocked how it all happened.  I guess I've just forgotten how uncomfortable people are when two women are together.  It really didn't take long for the town's whispers to start. Suddenly the principal of the only high school in town was single. His fiancé moved out, and now she was living with a woman?  Never mind that Emily and I love each other, that we are committed!

I mean scandalous, right? 

Why couldn't they just mind their own business? We were so private about our relationship, limiting ourselves when we were in public. We don't hold hands, and we never kissed unless we were certain no one else was around. But it's just... too conservative here.

And Emily.

I could tell she was losing the battle.  Every whisper was slowly chipping away at her confidence in us. She had never been in a same sex relationship before she met me, and it was just too hard on her in Rosewood.  People that knew what happened, people that knew we were together felt they had the right to voice their opinion. They'd stare, gawk, comment... judge.

I realized we couldn't stay.  For my sake, for Mya and for Emily.  It got really bad one day.  Someone muttered dykes under their breath standing behind us at The Brew.  Emily never said a word, but I could see in her eyes she was broken.  It took me all of 10 seconds that afternoon to decide we needed to move.  I stepped out of line, called a realtor and two days later the house was up for sale. 

Some nice young couple new to the area put in an offer right away.  It was under asking price, but I didn't care.  I accepted and a month later we closed and moved to Minneapolis.  It was sad leaving that house.  It's where all of my memories with Emily started.  And more importantly, all of my memories with Mya.

Mya.

My little Mya. It's hard for me to talk about, to think about what happened three months ago. It was a happy time because Em and I finally could be together, but it was so dark, too. It took me two full days to even be able to talk to Emily about Jack. I didn't know what to do, I was beside myself trying to be strong for Em, trying to keep myself together.

But then I had to tell my little girl.

No matter how many times I practiced with Em, it was never going to prepare me for the reality of sitting in front of her and telling her. That almost wrecked me.

"I can't do this Em, I can't! It's not fair that I have to tell her this, what if she hates me? What if she doesn't understand?!"

Emily quickly pulled me tight within her protective embrace, 'Shhh, it's okay, I'm right here. I won't leave your side, we can talk to Mya together.'

I can't help but cry, I'm not handling this well.  I know we were divorced, but I still loved him, he was still the father of our daughter.  I can picture his face when he saw her, held her for the first time. We both cried that day, we were both so happy. Now Mya will never get to hug him ever again.