Fall // Suho's FF [EN]

22. The End

~~~ EXO - White noise ~~~

           

Don't misunderstand.

She knew, she is adopted. She knew it for eternity. She accepted that fact long time ago, even though it was hard.

Thing that made her lose the last bits of clear thinking, was the reason the way she was, because of her biological parents. Whoever they might have been, they passed this curse on her and left her alone. She never understood, why she was different and couldn't live like her brother. She always knew she is somewhat different. And she confirmed it eventually, however heart-breaking it was in the first moment.

She is struggling, because she wasn't daughter of her adoptive parents. Not because it was hard to handle this part of reality, but because she was causing trouble not only for her, but for people that decided to take her in and raise as their own.

She left the house, right after she heard Sehun saying, what was so hard to listen.

She was not ready to face anyone. Not when she would not be able to control herself. She was still sobbing, her face puffed and hot. She was a mess. She knew Junmyeon would come to her at some point and he will realise, there is something wrong.

She was determined to pull herself together and go back, after she was sure she won't crumble. She knew how to do it, she had done when she found about her adoption. No one knows, that she is aware. And she was ready to keep it this way.

Maybe it was silly, but it was her way of trying to protect people she likes. They suffered enough, because of her.

She was wandering around her neighbourhood. It was quite late, so there was barely a chance for someone to see her. The spring was slowly changing into summer and the night air was still too hot. The sweat mixed with her tears was rolling down her face, as she walked aimlessly.

The memory of the time, she got to know the truth about her origins, was haunting her.

She recalled everything from that day, because her night terrors came back. She was doing quite well, for some time. She was around twelve at the time.  She was happy back then. She was with her family at their beach house, with Kim's family.  It was her, Sehun and Junmyeon's summer fun.

They stayed up until late at night. Watching soap operas on the tv, laughing their butts off, whenever someone slapped someone and rest assured that it happens surprisingly often. Their parents went out for the evening, leaving the teenage squad to entertain themselves.

They went to bed very late, she was sleeping well, but was woken up by talking of their parent coming back from their night out. She wanted to go and grab herself a drink from the kitchen, but her parents and Kims were still there, chatting.

"You should tell her, while she is young, she will have more time to deal with it and accept it," Mrs Kim said.

Jihye knew eavesdropping was bad, but for some reasons he didn't care at the time, she was excited to hear something from adults conversation and then boast about it to boys in the morning. She didn't expect the thing turn around so severe for her.

"She is in fragile state. I'm worried that if she knows that she is adopted, she will have a hard time. She just started to sleep better now," her mom mumbled.

"Jihye is stronger than you think. And she has you and her brother to look after her, in the process of acknowledging her situation," Mr Kim, agreed with his wife.

Jihye was frozen in the hallway, staring into the darkness.

She remembered the panic closing up her throat. Her lungs stopped working, as she rushed back to her room. She wanted to forget those long hours, of her trying to calm down, overcome the panic attack.