Fall // Suho's FF [EN]

20. Killing two birds with one stone

~~~ EXO - Forever ~~~

Jun's POV

           

He had to make sure, he will stay with her overnight. He didn't know how he will manage to do so, every single night, but he was determined to not let her sleep alone ever again.

All day he spent in her room, he was going back and forth between sleeping and being awake and painfully aware of what happened last night. When he woke up and found out, she had no idea what she made him go through, he hid another secret from her. That was two of the secrets that he had no idea what to do with.

His eyes landed on her peaceful face, he tightened his hold on her, pulling her closer to his body, she instinctively hugged him back, her arm casually laying on his stomach. He was not made of stone, but he managed to control himself, when they somehow ended up having hot make-out session. No matter what, she was the only girl that could make him lose his mind, within few seconds of only her looking him innocently in the eye.

And when she manages to gather some courage and do everything to the content of her heart, he was so screwed.

His heart swelled with feelings which grew every moment he spent with her.

When she was laying unconscious and wet on that hard concrete next to the pool... he never felt so powerless, when he was pumping her heart in order to bring her back. He couldn't think, and he didn't, until the time she started to cough, breathing. She fell into the darkness again, almost like she never stopped sleeping the whole time. She was turned off the whole time she was drowning, she didn't wake up at all.

He didn't know what it was, but he was sure she wasn't trying to harm herself, he was genuinely confused in the morning, that's why he stayed quiet.

"Jun...," she mumbled in her sleep. He smiled, his heart skipping in the chest crazily. It made him happy, not only because she was saying his name, but because it meant she was sleeping fully.

He needs to speak to Sehun, he didn't know how he is going to explain his interest about his sister, but if he has to be honest and go against her wishes, he will tell Sehun, he is dating her. Because he needs to know, what exactly is going on with her and as long she is not willing to share it with him, he has no other option.

He could try Bora or Baekhyun as well. One of them will have to tell him, why is Jihye the way she is.

The memory crossed his mind, from very long time ago. From the time he saw her having night terror for the first time. He remembered how terrified he was. They were much younger at the time. The guilt stroke him hard again.

He was too ashamed to think of that time. He could blame his younger self and make an excuse about his immaturity, back in time. It didn't make him feel any better, quite the opposite.

He pressed his eyelids together, tightening his grip on the girl he came to cherish beyond his own abilities. That was probably the reason he distanced himself over the past years. But it didn't make what he did, any less despicable.

If he could, he would go back to that time and kick his own ass, but there was no way he can do that. His eyes landed on Ji's face. She was sleeping so beautifully, when he was with her. Now that he realised, he had that power to give her full and rewarding sleep, it made his guilt resurface with unexpected power. He could have been her anchor for years, if he wasn't such a jerk.

"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered into the silence of the room. "I will make it up to you now. I will fight all your demons for you," he let out, swearing. It didn't matter she won't know, he made such promise, while she was deep in the slumber. Only he needs to know and remember.