Hellish (Steve Rogers Fan Fiction)

T h i r t y T h r e e

"No."

Natasha glanced over her shoulder to see Alex was still sleeping. The thief moved a little in the bed. Natasha saw the way her brows were drawn together tightly and her hands were clenched into tight fists. The heart monitor was picking up speed.

"Charlie!" Alex cried out, throwing her head to the side. Natasha moved to her bedside. "Steve, no!"

"Alex, wake up." Natasha gently shook her arm. The Red Dahlia jumped awake, her eyes flying open and her hand grabbing Natasha's wrist.

"Steve." Her eyes looked over to where she remembered him sitting earlier by her bedside.

"He left to get the chip, Alex." Natasha reminded her, gently prying her wrist from Alex's hand. "He'll be back late tonight."

Her wide blue eyes looked around the room for a few minutes and she focused on taking calm breaths. Her heart was racing and from the dream she had just had, there was no way she'd be able to calm down herself.

"Can you.... Can you call him?"

Natasha nodded her head and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She dialed Sam's number since Steve had yet to get a new phone.

"Hey, Sam? Can you put Steve on?" Natasha asked the Falcon once he answered. "Thanks."

The phone was handed to Alex and she held it to her ear.

"I'll be just outside." Natasha told the woman before leaving.

"Is something wrong, Natasha?" Steve asked.

"It's me." Alex's voice was quiet and timid. She knew he was angry with her.

Steve said nothing for a while.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Alex."

"But I do." She closed hey eyes as tears began to blur her vision. "I know what I do hurts you and I-I still do it."

"It's okay."

"No it's not and you can't keep saying that. I-I heard you tell someone that you can't do it anymore, Steve. I'm sorry-I'm so sorry I've pushed you this far."

"Me too." His voice was quiet. Alex could hear the sadness he was trying to hold back.

"I love you, Steve." She cried quietly. "But I don't want to keep doing this to you."

Silence fell between the two. Alex listened to her heart monitor beep and beep. It was becoming annoying.

"Once this is over—,"

"You're going to end up dead because you don't listen to anyone, Alex."

Alex put her free hand over her face.

"We're about to land." Steve muttered. "I'll see you tonight."

She nodded her head but he couldn't see it.

•*•*•

Alex was awake when Connor and Steve arrived. The Captain lingered by the door while Connor went in to see Alex.

"Oh my god, Alex." His eyes widened as he looked over her beaten state. "What happened to you?"

"Work." She replied quietly. "Do you have the drive?"

Connor nodded his head and shuffled around in his pockets. Alex's eyes flickered over to Steve. He wasn't looking at her, which hurt even more.

"What's on that thing, Alex?"

"Something you don't need to worry about. Is Michael okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. He's fine. He's hanging out with some of the Avengers. Alex, I really don't like—,"

"I'm sorry, Connor, but I cannot tell you." Alex cut him off. "I have to talk to Steve."

"I'll take you down to your son, Connor." Natasha offered, gesturing for the door. Alex kept her eyes on Steve as Connor left the room.

"Steve, please—,"

"I, um, I've got other things to go do, Alex." Steve shook his head gently and turned to leave.

"Steve, please!" The desperation in her voice was clear and her eyes started to fill with tears. "Please, Steve. Just a few minutes. I-I need to talk to you."

He brushed a hand over his hair and nodded his head. He turned and began to make his way to her bed side.

"I'm giving the drive to someone I know in the CIA." Alex whispered gently to him. "I-I can't loose you. Sonny, Noah, Mom, Charlie, Kieko.... I have no one left, Steve."

"You aren't wrong." He sat down heavily in the chair beside her bed. "You've lost everyone.... And I think you're past losing me."

Alex crinkled her brows together and gently shook her head.

"No, Steve, no. No, please give me one more chance."

"I've given you a dozen chances now and you just take advantage of me." Steve's vision began to blur with tears. It was extremely difficult for him to admit to Alex how he felt. He didn't want to leave her but he couldn't deal with the pain she brought on him. "I-I love you, Alex, but you aren't showing me that you love me back."

"But I do, Steve! I swear I do."

"I can't take this anymore." His voice cracked and he dropped his gaze to the floor. "I'm too old to have to deal with this and I don't want to deal with this kind of relationship forever."

"I swear, Steve. I-I'm giving this up. I swear to you." Alex reached out to take his hand but he pulled back to she couldn't reach him. "I swear, Steve."

He ran his hand over his face and stood up, taking a steady deep breath.

"Let me think about this.... about everything."

Alex nodded and watched as he left. As soon as the door closed, broken sobs escaped her lips.

•*•*•

Alex was released from the hospital a day and a half later. She had no clothes except for the sweatpants and hoodie Natasha had brought her. The Widow was driving Alex and herself to the airport where their quinjet was.

"Have you seen Steve today?" Alex spoke quietly as she glanced over to her.

"No but he called. Said he had something to do today."

Alex nodded her head.

"I don't blame him for wanting to leave." She whispered. "He deserves so much better."

"He does." Natasha agreed. "Alex, I would love to tell you that there's no way he's leaving you, that I'm taking you to him and that you'll be happy with him for the rest of your life.... But I can't."

"Why are you telling me this?" Alex sniffled and looked over to the redhead.

"Because I understand what you're going through. It's hard for you to change your ways for anyone. I haven't talked to him much in the past few days. I don't think anyone has. But I know he is ready to leave. If you want to keep him, you need to try harder."

"I've been trying and trying and trying but I can't do anything right." Alex brought her knees up to her chest. "Why aren't you telling me to leave? He's your best friend and you're trying to make me stay when I hurt him over and over again?"

"He loves you. You make him happy. You also make him stress about everything you do." Natasha sighed softly. "Give him a reason to stay, Alex, besides telling you've changed. Prove it to him."

Guys things are gonna get intense. What do you think is going to happen?

Vote and Comment!!

<3 Kacey <3