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"Why Simon?" Bram's whining at me, he's letting go of my hand. We're still sitting on my bathroom counter. I feel bad for trying to force him away from me. "Don't you want me to be closer to you?" his sounds hurt.
"I--" I bit my lip glancing at the floor. My hands are in my lap, I looked to my hands like my life depended on it. "I don't want you to throw your life away because of me-e," I whispered. I feared that I would have to repeat myself. Bram hopped off of the counter, making himself comfortable on the closed toilet seat.
"Simon," he whispered, "you are my life," he blushed. I squirmed, terribly uncomfortable. I hated the idea of Bram holding back on his dreams for me.
"Shut up, you're just scared of changes," I spat. Bram was making me feel odd like I was supposed to be begging him to stay with me. Secretly, maybe I did want him to stay here with me. I also wanted everything to stay the same. For my school to never end and all of my friends to never leave me behind. But life moved on. And so did you.
"I'm terrified of changes, Si," he blurts, "I'm terrified I'll go off to college and come back and you won't love me anymore!" Bram's outburst has me looking at my feet. Should I feel upset? I feel kinda upset. Did Bram really think I wasn't going to love him?
"I'll always be in love with you," I promised him. Or at least I felt like it. I sighed, hoping I didn't sound fake. I looked up at him.
"Me -- me too," he smiled, if we weren't sitting in my bathroom I would have found this terribly romantic.
Dinner's odd.
Norah looks pretty upset, considering she just got home from Prom. Our father doesn't notice a thing. My mother's looking at Bram and me with nostalgia.
I try my very best to focus on Bram. He's holding my hand under the table. Which makes me melt.
"So," Bram clears his throat, he's trying to break the ice. "How was Prom?" Leah gives him such a dirty glare, he's going to need to wash his hands. I rub my thumb over the back of his hand. You're doing your best babe. I mentally encourage him. Which I don't know why I do it. He can't hear me.
"Did you two have fun?" my mom speaks. Steering the conversation back to us. She's pointing to Bram and I. Suddenly, I grow nervous. I feel like I am going to say the wrong thing.
"We had--" a night to remember? A blast? What did I say to her? My sister probably just got dumped by some guy I never met. I got engaged to my boyfriend. Did I even dare bring it up? I would sound like a total jerk.
"Fun," Bram helps me out. I grin at him, thankful for him to be here next to me. "Actually, Simon and I have something to tell everybody--" I feel panicked. Frozen. Since when was Bram a 'announce our engagement to my parents on Prom night without telling me first' a kinda guy?
Leah finally locks in on the conversation. For once interested. She's grinning, so maybe she already knows.
"You're not pregnant are you?" my dad jokes. I got to laugh but he looks dead serious. I just try to laugh it off. Bram looks terribly uncomfortable. I change the topic to the newest SNL skit. Which gets my mom active in the conversation. I squeeze Bram's hand. Hoping he understands.
Soon. Just not yet.
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YOU ARE READING
love, simon
Fanfictionsimon's out. and so is his boyfriend. the whole school knows - but now what? with applying to college coming up, and graduation soon, will bram and simon survive the end of the school year?
