Black Beauty | Kylo Ren x Reader

Sixteen

Steam filled the washroom as Kylo showered, the man not expecting to take so long as most of it was spent thinking. Thinking about you.

About your well being, about your mentality, about you as a whole.

About his feelings for you.

Kylo's heart was racing faster than ever, all because he knew he felt something for you that wasn't just a desire for friendship... but a desire for more. He knew, deep down within his poorly lit heart, that you could never and would never feel the same. It wasn't in you. It would never be in you. It shouldn't be a desire of yours.

Resting his head against the showered wall, sucking in a breath, he shut his eyes. Although he was relieved now, knowing you were safe and in walking distance, he couldn't help but feel that lingering anxiety. The way his heart sank at the simple thought—the memory—of you being somewhere far from his reach. Being in danger. Nearly drowning. He had never felt his adrenaline rush as fast as it did when he saw you get dragged under water.

Lifting his head and standing up straight, Kylo raked his fingers through his hair, pushing it over his head as he breathed in to steady his heart. You were there. You were safe. And he had nothing to worry about... So why did the feeling linger?

Looking to the left of him, rubbing his hand against the foged, glass shower door, he eyed the vastness of his quarters apparent through the opened washroom door. Like before, he left it open in case you need him—even as he showered. A part of him wanted you to wander around, to curiously peek in and see him—

No, you half-witted nerfherder!

Rubbing his face, then covering his mouth with both of his hands, he looked down at his lower abdomen and grew wide eyed, yelling into his hand "kriff!" After so long, now was when he got hard? With you right outside? With the door wide open? He almost wanted to cry, feeling like an overly hormonal teenager. He couldn't seem to go a day without masturbating.

Turning the knob all the way to the right, making the water temperature lower, his body began to shiver as the piercing cold water pelted his bare skin. Groaning, Kylo wanted nothing more than to smash his head into the refresher's wall if that meant he'd stop feeling such way.

Pressing your knees together with your palms pressed into the mattress, you stared out at the snow, completely entranced in the beauty of nature. It kept you at bay, your focus set on it rather than what had happened not too long before. Sucking in a breath, with a small tilt in your head, you thought about Kylo.

And then, Phasma's words.

If he truly was upset at you for, quote unquote stealing his painting, he wouldn't have gone out of his way to find you. Wouldn't have made you a priority... And definitely wouldn't remind you of how safe you were.

You couldn't help but smile, maybe there was a chance of finding a friend in him. Maybe he was starting to see and understand the lightness that life held. The good in it. The idea of caring for someone.

Hearing the sound of the washroom's door close, your heart sank, instantly looking over and suddenly feeling the heat rise to your face. Seeing Kylo stand there, holding his towel low at his hips, using his freehand to comb through his wet hair, you gulped. You then eyed the fresh water dripping down his neck and collar bone, along his toned chest and abdomen, causing you to take in a deep breath. And then your eyes trailed lower, down the happy trail and...

Oh no...

Making eye contact with him as your heart shot right out of your chest, you snapped your head back towards the window as you buried your hands in between your thighs, shoving the overly sized shirt with them. You needed your underwear... or the washroom.