jachary, "I'm not gay"

chapter 29 <3

zach rushed into the bathroom just now realizing how bad this could be. he felt terrible, like if all of this were his fault. but it wasn't. jack was just confused and he really needed to find himself. as cliche as that may sound.

"jack?" Zach kneeled by jack, who was hunched over a toilet in a stall.

"what?" jack said this harshly as he turned to zach, wiping his mouth and standing straight up so Zach wouldn't get the clear image of jack being broken.

"please don't tell me that you just forcefully made yourself throw-" Zach was cut off

"so what if I did, it's not like you'll ever care as much as I do, I tried so hard to even admit to my feelings for you and now you don't even like me or care for me a bit" jack scoffed beginning to turn away.

"why the fuck would I come over here if I didn't care, jack?! And I watched you date girls when I wanted so badly for there to be an us, you don't understand how many nights I cried my self to sleep because I could never be with you. And now you want me?! I think it's too late for that." Zach brushed passed jack, almost leaving until he felt the older boy put his hand on his forearm.

"zach, i may have not known about my feelings since the beginning like you have but now I know and I can't help that. So yes, I do want you now, why does it have to be too late?, you clearly still have feelings for me because if you didn't you would have walked off by now." Jacks voice got calmer as he looked down anxious to here zach speak.

but zach didn't say anything in that moment. the younger boy roughly pushed jacks arm off of him and forced the slightly taller one against the wall, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "you will never understand what it feels like to want to punch but kiss someone at the same time, but i will do neither. this thing we have, it needs to be figured out when we're not so stressed or sad. please just give myself and yourself some time, we can't get into something if we don't fully think we're committed to it."

before jack could speak, zach quickly released his hands from his collar and walked out.

-mini time (like 30 mins) skip- (they're in the van:)

zach and jack now sat separately from each other thinking of conversations they would have in the future. truth be told, the bathroom thing was the hardest thing zach could have done but he knew he needed space from jack, he needed to see if jack was really willing to go far with zach, he needed to see if he could handle actually trying to get something he wants instead of it just being handed to him like it's always been. zach just wanted that reassurance that jack wasn't going to leave this time.

"hey, zach" corbyn noticed a sad expression on his lil old buds face.

"yes?" zach turned a bit to fully face his blonde friend.

"why do you look so sad?" corbyn rubbed the smaller boys shoulder.

"i'm not. sad" zach forced a small smile on his face which was followed by corbyn giving him a genuine one.

jack listened to this mini conversation and knew just by the sound of the younger boys voice that he was lying, he looked up a little to see the other boys expression. why was he sad when he's the one that wanted "time"? jacks thoughts ran wild as he tried to get ahold of them.

and when he did,

well kind of..

he knew what he had to do, he also knew giving zach his time would only waste their time together.
even though zach may be upset with jacks decision, he didn't care, at this point he was going to do what he thought was best, not just for him but for them both, what he was about to do was worth a shot, right?

jack gave himself an assuring small smile to prep him (please don't think dirty, chu ratz💀) with confidence, because he was going to need it.

but then again he's jack avery, what could go wrong?

"stop the car"

-
i haven't been in the mood to write lately, i always say i'll write once i do my school work but i never get to it, and i'm also always a sad bean now a days and idk how to get out of this slump but uhm enjoy this chapter