Lams Fluff [In Progress]

whole lotta angst

Alex POV

4 New Messages from ' 666-3134'

Unknown: You better break up with that fag.

Unknown: Or I'll let everyone your father know what a freak you are. And he will kill you and your whore boyf

Unknown: riend.

Unknown: One video attached

John POV

"Alex, who was that? What are you not telling me?" I cry as I struggle along after him. He's walking too fast, pulling me along. He looks scared to death, pale as a leaf. I yank my hand away from him in the bustling street. He turns around and whispers, "We have to leave." He moves closer to me, leaning his head on my chest. "I just want to go home first." He whispers. Um, okay, wow. "Yeah. Yeah, absolutely." I say, not really knowing what to do. I've never seen Alexander act more vulnerable. Except when he was talking about his childhood.

Huh. As we get into our dorm room, I lean against the kitchen counter. "So wanna tell me what's up?" I say softly. He lowers his head and clears his throat. As he steps closer to me, i accept him, wanting him to know that I'm here for him. He puts his hand on my shoulders, and whispers

"John I'm breaking up with you."

I blink. I push him away. "Um, WHAT?" He looks up desperately. "I... I never broke up with my old girlfriend..." This can't be happening. "the HELL?! Alex, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!" I will myself not to cry. He doesn't stop staring at me. I know he's trying to get something across to me, but honestly, I'm too fucking pissed to care. I start swearing and screaming at him, repeatedly pushing him away from me. When I'm fed up, I grab my keys and wallet and phone and run out of there. "DON'T COME AFTER ME YOU FUCKER." I yell. How could he do this to me? 

Third Person POV

John stumbles out of the dorm, tears in his eyes. He falls into Jefferson, who's very surprised. John can't control it, but he starts sobbing into Jefferson's maroon hoodie. 

"Um... what's up?" Jefferson says in a throaty voice. 

"Alex... broke up...old girlfriend... help" John gasped between sobs and chokes. Jefferson awkwardly pats Laurens' back and then pulls him closer. 

Jefferson's POV

This is sooo awkward... his hair smells like jasmine and mint. Nice. I can't believe Alex could do this to such an amazing person. I should've known not to trust him. Little bastard. John's so great... he really is a great person. I hate seeing him like this.

"So... you probably don't want to go back there." I say as John nods, wiping tears from his beautiful eyes. "You could... stay at my place? It's small, but if you want to, it could work until things get sorted out between you two." John harshly laughs. 

"I'm never going back to that fucker. He said he was mine. I... I thought he was mine." He blinks away tears and says softly, "He... he said he loved me, Thomas." I hesitantly put my arm around him and hold him close. He buries his head in my chest. "Take me to your place." He mumbles. I pick him up and start on my way. 

Alex POV

Oh my god. WHy? WHY? I don't want my father to hurt John... why couldn't there be another way? I can't handle the pain. Am I dying? Is it possible to die from feelings? Why couldn't it be? Why did John have to take it this way? Couldn't he see what happened? I cant take it i cant take it icanttakeiticanttakeitstopitstopstopstOPSTOPSTOPSTOPPLEASEOHMYGOD Ijustwanttobe out of my body i need to escape i WANT TO LEAVE. JUST LET ME OUT, PLEASE. I'LL DO ANYTHING!

Third Person POV

Alex stumbles throughout the small kitchen, banging his fists on his head and on the counter. He's sobbing uncontrollably and hoarsly screaming. He puts a washcloth into his mouth and curls into the fetal position, and screams until his voice is gone. Alex starts to see spots and still can't relieve himself of the pain in his head and heart. He stumbles into the bathroom and grabs one of the razor blades they keep.

Alex POV

Cut: For what you did to John

Cut: For what you're putting him through

Cut: For what a freak you are

Cut: To get away from the pain

Cut: To escape yourself

Cut: To do everyone else a favor and just kill yourself

At least I'll see Mom and James again.

Blackness