Lams Fluff [In Progress]

Motivation

John POV

"Peggy, I'm worried about Lexi." I said as I was laying down on the her couch, my head in her lap. She was playing with my hair, laid back, as we had an hour before noon classes started. Alex, of course was lying on the couch in our apartment. He had been let out of the hospital after all of his wounds had set and started to heal moderately. He never did anything anymore, just sat and ate, slowly becoming a couch potato. 
          "He never has an optimistic outlook. It seems like he's given up before he's tried."
I felt for him, knowing that it was really hard for him see his mother again and then lose her for me. It was a big sacrifice. But enough was enough. I was tired of being away from him later and later, looking for comfort and entertainment elsewhere. Peggy smoothed back my hair and softly said,

           "John, I know you better than anyone, and I know that you can tolerate only so much, good naturedly, but when you do reach your limit, you blow up. And I can also see that you are continuously losing patience with Alexander, who is struggling really badly.
             "I can tell that he is having trouble being motivated to do anything right now, apparently being with you again doesn't seem like that would be enough. I think he wants to see his mother again, but is torn, because he knows he can't and wants to move on, but now that he knows that she's waiting for him if he dies, he sees that as a valid option, but feels like he can't do that to any of us. I can tell that he does love you, truly and honest-to-god loves you, but feels like he'd be happier with his mother, wanting to somehow be with you and his mother at the same time."

           "God, Peggy, you should become a therapist." She seems to know everything anyone is feeling or doing. There's no escaping her. I push my self up and pivot, sitting next to her, hands clenching the couch cushions. "I think I'm going to take a walk." I say, slowly getting up. I seem to be exasperated and tired all of the time now. My joints complain immensely as I walk towards the door. "I'll see you later, Peggy." 

         Later, in Central Park, I take a breath of the crisp air, the air just on the cold side of perfect, heavenly in its hurtfulness. I plod along one of the many paths, not looking really where I was going. I stare up at the gray cloudy sky, not the kind of sky that depresses, but the kind that seems soft and cool to the touch. I start to have tears in my eyes, wishing that I belonged. But Alex won't tell me where I went wrong. I take another large step and crash into someone, a flurry of papers going into my face, and I hear a scream. 
         "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I say as I scramble to pick up some of the papers. I hear a light laugh, and look up surprised.  It's a woman, and she doesn't seem mad at all. In fact, her blue eyes are sparking as she grins down at her papers. If I wasn't so fucking gay, I would be thinking something all along the lines of 'dayum'. Yeah. Defiantly not thinking that.  
           "It's alright." She says smiling. She stacks them in a neat pile against her thigh. "I was just looking for inspiration, and I think I found it." 
           "Oh? And what's that?"
"Main character crashes into handsome stranger in Central Park." 
O H .  
 I can feel a light blush settle into my cheeks and I clear my throat. Think gay, think gay. What the hell's wrong with me? Think about Alex. You love him, right?  What's wrong with me? 
           "Oh-I-um, t-thank you." I stutter out, causing her to laugh.
"You get flustered so easily, don't you?" 
             "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"What's your name?"
             "J-John Laurens."
"My name's Autumn."
              "That's a very pretty name."
"Listen, do you think maybe- oh!" She looks past me, at someone grinning and walking over to her. She tugs the person over and says, "This is my girlfriend. I was going to ask if I could have your number, you seem nice. Maybe we can talk again sometime." Her girlfriend smiles, dimples in both cheeks.
              "Pleased to meet you. " I say, holding out my hand. She shakes it, saying, 
"Ditto. My name's Thalia." Autumn clears her throat, looking back at me.
              "About that number?" 
"Oh! Yeah, sure, let me put it in." She hands me my phone, and I fumble with it, typing in my number, putting my username as TurtleBoi. She sees it and smiles, texting me, and I feel a buzz in my pocket. I pull out my phone and type in the new number contact as Autumn. She smiles a lot. "Alright, well, it was very nice meeting you John, but we have to get going!" I smile and nod, watching them turn around and walk the other way. Thalia nips at Autumn's nose, and they playfully shove each other, the very image of adorable. I sigh, wishing Alex and I could be like that again, and head on my way, with no general direction in mind, just wanting to speed up time. Suddenly my phone buzzes, and I see a text from Alexander. 
Non-Stop: Can you meet me at our tree in Cetrl Park?