Love's a strong word [ a hannie fanfiction ]

chapter twelve

Annie's POV:

It's like everything that I've built up has just came crashing back down on me. I have lost all the power and confidence I had gained over the year. Ghost of my past are haunting me, and I feel like I'm suffocating in my own tears.

— door bell —

"I'll get it, come on Carson," I hear Jayden say, my head still dug into Hayden's chest.

"What happened?" Hayden asked as soon as they left the room.
"My dad called me.." I said shaking.
Then it hit me.
"Oh no.." I muttered.
"I need to know if my mom and Hayley is okay, I don't want him to hurt them. If they do it's all my fault." I muttered quick.
"Everything's going to be okay, I promise," Hayden reassured me.
"You don't understand, Hayden.." I begun.
I took a deep breath and held onto my chest.
"I feel like I can't breathe, somethings wrong," I whispered, I was becoming light headed.
"Hey, look at me.." Hayden spoke, cupping my face in this hands as we looked deeply into each others eyes. 
"Take deep breathes," he said.
I took four deep breathes.
"I will go call your mom and tell her okay?" He says.
I nodded again.
"Do you trust me?" He asks.
I nodded.
I watched as he picked my phone up from the ground.
"Then I promise you that everything will be okay," he says, as he kisses my forehead.
I watched as he left the room. I laid on the couch, I felt as if my head was spinning. I just closed my eyes and imagined that Hayden was with me. He shouldn't be gone for long.
I listened to the sound of my breathing, trying to not start off another anxiety attack.
Everything was quiet, I couldn't hear Jayden or Hayden or Carson.
I felt a hand touch mine, I opened my eyes instantly and my breathing quickened.
"It's only me," Hayden said, "I just wanted to see if you were alive."
He sat beside me and I sat on his lap, my small body was cuddled up into him.
"You want some pizza?" He asked.
I shrugged. When I normally feel stressed I loose my appetite, kind weird since I've hardly eaten.
"Have you eaten anything today?" Hayden asks, almost as if he had just read my mind.
"You haven't have you?" He asks.
I shake my head preparing myself for him to get angry.
He sighs.
"Anns, you shouldn't do that to yourself, it's not healthy.." he says.
"I'm sorry.." I whisper, almost like I wanted to spill all the feelings I had inside of me.
"Let's get you some pizza, yeah?" He says trying to make things better.
He picks me up and I rest my head on his shoulder, he walks up both into the kitchen where three different pizzas are. There's cheese, pepperoni and Hawaiian.
"You feeling better Annie?" Jayden asks as we get into the kitchen.
"Yeah.. just tired," I lie.
It must've been a good lie because she believed it.
She nodded and smiled and ate her pizza slice.
I grabbed a slice of Hawaiian, this has been my favourite pizza ever since I was little. I ate it slowly, letting the sweetness of the pineapple mix in with the saltiness of the cheese. I ate at least five slices because I was starving and I hadn't eaten since yesterday.

"I can't eat anymore," I say lays down on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me. Only Jayden was in the room with me, both Carson and Hayden have been on the phone to my mom for a while now. I'm just hoping everything is okay.

"I know that we haven't been that close lately but.. if there's anything on your mind or if anything's bothering you, I'm always here," Jayden says, instantly grabbing my attention.

"Thank you.." I begin saying. "Things haven't been easy these past few years, I just feel like everything's weighing me down and I feel like the only way to make it stop is to cut it off completely, but I can't because everyone needs me.." I say, I can taste the saltiness of my tears.
Jayden's arms wrapped around me.
"I understand," she whispers and opens her mouth to speak again:
"But I promise you, if you was to die, everyone else around you would too. Especially your mom and Hayley, they need you the most.."

I nodded and wiped the tears that was falling down my jaw.
"Hayden needs you too, you know?" Jayden says almost as if she was keeping something from me.
"How?" I say.
"He lost his parents..." she spoke.
"Oh." I mutter, finally understanding what he meant when he told me that everything would get better.
"He never talks about them.." I break the silence.
"He always tries to keep himself busy, so he doesn't break. Carson and him have been friends since forever, apparently Hayden does bad things when he's broken.." Jayden explains.
"Like drugs, drinking, smoking and getting into fights?" I ask.
"Yeah," Jayden says.
I hug her and we watch Netflix until the boys came back. We try our bests to feel better so we decide to what's the vampire diaries. We watch at least five episodes but then we get interrupted by Carson and Hayden halfway through the fifth.

—————
tbc.
word count: 900.