You're Perfect (A Big Time Rush Fanfic)

Chapter 30

Today was the day. I woke up less happy than I had ever been in the morning and I walked over to the window in James and mines bedroom. I opened the curtain and saw the sun rising above the horizon. The sky looked extra orange today, and I felt odd looking at it like it was looking back at me. I sighed and soon felt hands run down my arms and encasing me in a safe bliss.

"You okay babe?" James asked in my ear. I nodded and leaned into his chest.

"I'm okay for right now." I told James.

"I will go wake up John." James said kissing my cheek.

"You sure?" I asked as James let go of me and I turned to watch him. He nodded opening the door and walking into our hotel room. I grabbed my suitcase and scavenged for something funeral appropriate. I brought out a knee length black dress, with the leggings I wore yesterday, black knee height boots, and a black cardigan. I showered first of us all and changed into my outfit. Then I put on dark eyeshadow, and a dark maroon lip color. I blew my hair dry and curled it into a side bun. John came out of his room before James was finished in ours. John had on an actual tux, a black suit and a white shirt. I smiled as he had either end of the ties in his hands. I made a face.

"You'll have to wait for James for that one." I said as he nodded and sat quietly on the couch. I put down my lip stick and walked over to him.

"Hey." I said as he and I sat awkwardly.

"Hi." He said sitting quietly. His dark hair was a shaggy length and he looked like any other teen aged boy in a tux, a little uncomfortable.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"I can see your tattoo." He said quietly making me laugh quietly. I looked down and sure enough my collar bone was revealed in this dress.

"Anything else?" I asked him. He shrugged again.

"Did he suffer?" John asked quietly. I shook my head as my eyes were blurred a little.

"No. He didn't." I told him. He nodded.

"Do you think he's in Heaven?" John asked looking at the ceiling. I nodded.

"I can almost guarantee he is." I whispered taking John's hand in mine. James opened the door and was in a dark charcoal suit and his hair shaggy as well. He however started to put product in it as he noticed me looking. He smiled sadly.

"Do you need some help there buddy?" James asked John. John nodded and stood up walking over to James. James explained how to tie a tie by showing John on himself first and then told John to try tying his own tie. He couldn't do it. "That's okay. You'll have plenty of time to practice that." James smiled tying John's tie for him.

"Thanks, James." John said sounding very sad.

"You alright, John?" James asked genuinely concerned. I then stood and walked into the bathroom Incase John had something he just needed to tell a male. And from the sound of it, he and James were talking. I stood in the bathroom awkwardly and looked at the mirror in there. I looked like someone going to a funeral, but I wasn't sure I should have been this depressing looking. I put up a good front in front of John, but when it was going to come down to it, I would be crying in James's arms later.

I opened the bathroom door to a scene I wish I hadn't seen for my makeup's sake. John was desperately crying in James's arms. James was holding him how I imagined he held me all the time, endearing and genuine. I let the tears fall as James looked at me from the corner of his eye and gave me a truly broken half smile before closing his eyes and shushing John. I walked back into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. My eyes started to water worse than ever and I cried hysterically. We had lost a part of us, although my father and I hadn't spoken in five years, the last two days of his life were his best. I felt so upset that John didn't get to have a proper goodbye with him. I clutched my chest and felt so upset I couldn't control it. I tried catching my breath but it only was causing more tears. After a few minutes, I calmed down and stood looking at the mirror. My makeup was decent for just balling my eyes out. I wiped away the tears, blew my nose, and then was calmed down enough to walk into the other room. John was sniffing as James had a hand on his shoulder speaking quietly to him.