Queen of the Night

4

When you get time to think by yourself, you tend to think of all the stupid things you've done in your life. Like how I thought I'd wear a short sleeved shirt to school in the seventh grade. Bad idea, I sweated through the whole thing before third period.

This past weekend of course, was on my radar as I thought of the many dumb things I've done in my years of existence. If you told me a week ago that I was going to go to a party and end up sleeping with Mark Skylord, I would of laughed right in your face and told you that you're insane. Still, it happened.

My stomach was really bothering me now. Before I knew it, I was rushing upstairs. I barged into my bathroom and threw up into the toilet. I panted and sat there for a while. "Oh fuck, my macaroni shells." I whined, realizing there was nothing I could do to bring them back. Something is wrong. I'm sure of that now.

Maybe I'm sick.

The plague?

The flu?

A stomach bug perhaps?

Okay wait. Can a stomach bug be like an STD? Maybe Mark was sick and didn't tell me.

That's really rude of him.

It must be that then. Problem solved. Thanks for nothing Marcus. If that's even his name.

Is it just Mark or is Mark a nick name for Marcus? I don't know.

I'd gotten up from the floor now, and sat on my bed. The more I thought about it, I began to question my idiotic logic. I may be very dumb in some aspects, but I don't think a stomach bug is actually an STD. So I'm back to square one. I wasn't sick before my evening with Mark, only after. Maybe-
Oh shit.

Ohhh shit

I might be pregnant.

My eyes widened. What do I do now? A test, I'll take a test. I jumped off my bed and threw on pants and a sweater. I got my wallet and rushed down the stairs to the front door. I quickly put on my moccasin slipper shoe things, and was out the door. I checked if I had my house key, and thankfully, I did. The walk to the drug store was a long one, but I wasn't so worried about the distance. In fact, the longer I could prolong seeing if I was actually pregnant, the better. Maybe I could murdered on the way to the store, that would solve just about everything.

When I got to the sketchy, dimly lit drug store, I walked in with my head down. I would die if someone recognized me buying a pregnancy test. I walked through the aisles, trying to find the damn tests, and I did, after a painfully long time. I grabbed 3 quickly. My hands were shaky, and I almost dropped them many times as I hurried to the check out.

There was one girl working tonight, she looked like a meth addict, and have me a weird look as I shoved the boxes onto the counter. She quietly rung me up, and put them in a bag. She told me my change due, and let me tell you those pieces of insurmountable unhappiness are hella fricken expensive. Like geez, I don't even want to do this in the first place, and now it's costing me a lot of money? As she gave me my change, and the bag of tests, she gave me a concerned look and said, "Good luck, sweetheart." I gave her a half smile, and got the hell out of there. I walked home, praying someone would mug me or shoot me, but tonight wasn't the night.

I reached my house, and stormed upstairs, into my bathroom. As I got out the tests, and read the directions, I came to two conclusions.

1) I don't have to pee right now, and

2) I like REALLY don't want to be pregnant or like do this, at all

I took a deep breath, and pulled out the tests. I eventually found the courage to pee on the dumb stick, and I then I stood in my bathroom, awaiting my fate, starring out the window. I could either dodge a bullet, or ruin my life, nothing in between.

I waited for a really long time, refusing to look at the three sticks on my sink counter. I didn't want to. It's like if I looked, my eyes would literally melt out of my head. If I looked at them, then this would actually be happening, and I don't want that. After three hundred eighty seven years, I turned my head, and walked over to my sink counter. I closed my eyes, and then opened them to see the results.

Positive

Positive

Negative

Oh wait the last one was positive too, it's just there were so many tears in my eyes it blurred my vision.

Shoot.
Well this sucks.

I dropped to the floor, and curled into a ball against my sink, burying my head in my hands. I don't know how long I cried, but let me tell you, it was a long fuckin time. Once I had no tears left to cry, I got up, and flopped on my bed.

"This bitch is pregnant." I said to myself in a truly sad, broken voice. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to come to terms. I'm pregnant. I'm gonna have a baby. Mark's baby.

Frick, that sucks.

There's a kid growing in my tummy. I looked at my stomach.

"I'm gonna be fat." I said quietly.

You know what? It's not gonna be Mark's baby. It'll be my baby. I won't even tell him. Or maybe I will, and I'll say he can never see his own kid, because it's all his fault, he's mean, stupid, pretty, and not a nice person. No matter how many times he drives me home, saves me from gangs, or anything, he's not nice, and he's not gonna be in my kiddos life.

I felt a little better about that now. But I have to go to school still. And I'll have to hide it when I get a baby bump. God I can't believe I have to do this. I'll be graduating, and also be getting ready to give birth.

Yuck.

That's gonna hurt like a bitch.

If I told Mark it would make him mad. It would piss him off. That's funny. I'd ruin both our lives. Drag him down with me, be an insane mess of a family.

I'll think about that I guess. It's kinda like I have his life in my hands, and I could ruin it at any time. I like that. Makes me feel powerful. Now I'm just tired.

After all my crying, I felt awful, and I craved sleep. I kicked off my shoes, and decided to just go to bed and deal with it in the morning. I crept under my covers, and pulled my blankets up to my chin. Soon I fell into a dreamless sleep.

School is gonna suck ass tomorrow.
Oh well.